Marriage counselling - waste of money?

[toadstool32]

I can’t fathom the idea of paying a total stranger over £100 for 50 minutes to fix years of issues. Yet husband is asking we at least try .
Does it make a difference? Or equivalent to binning a wad of twenties?

I think it depends on the issues that need addressing.
Abusive behaviour, waste of money.
Division of labour, might be beneficial.

I went to a well known, all over instagram, couples therapist and it made things worse. I wish I had never agreed to go. It was expensive and raking over abusive events which she recast as neutral left me feeling blamed and quite depressed.

As a general rule of thumb, the more well known the therapist, the worse they will be.

As a therapist couples therapy works well if looking to manage a mental health difficulty in one partner, say the husband is down and the wife is struggling to manage them the couples therapy helps the husband manage his symptoms and the wife understand but "marriage guidance" type therapy you hear of in the media I'm not as sure on tbh
Of course it'll help some but any form of abuse it must be avoided as it can make it worse and after affairs etc I'm just not sure it can help re gain trust in say 6 sessions
It can be good to aid communication within a couple as it's a safe space to say their view point but apart from that it's probably better to have your own individual therapy tbh

No abuse, no adultery. Just 13 year relationship at stalemate. Zero communication, zero intimacy, zero common interests anymore.

In my experience, marriage counselling fails most often where you've left it too late – as most people do sadly (though I know it's a great expense).

Most couple tend to view it as a crisis option, where it's most effective when it's applied at the first sign of trouble.

If you're already feeling like there's no point, then perhaps you've gotten to the stage where it's too late.

It depends. If he is keen then it may be an opportunity for you to finally be heard and understood. It might not save the relationship but could help it end amicably.

If he thinks it will just be all about him then no.

Equally if he thinks it is a magic wand rather than bloody hard work then also no.