Finding my father

[rosesarebeutiful]

Im putting this out for a friend to get some answers and where to go from here.
my father who I’ve not had much of a relationship with I’ve lost touch with for the past few months. He’s on my birth certificate, we’ve been in touch for years over the phone every week and met him approximately 12years ago.
I last spoke to him in July and since then his phone is switched off. I know prior to July his family didn’t know about me. I have 3 step siblings who are all older than me and he ended up having an affair with my mother and then went back to his wife.
I’ve been very anxious as I’ve not heard from him and I messaged his son a ‘fake’ message from a fake account on Facebook to say my uncle was trying to get in touch with his dad and if I could get a number for him or if I send my uncles number they could call. The son refused and said his dad is waiting for a dementia diagnosis and will not speak to anyone.
Im going out of my mind as it’s been so long and I don’t really know where to go from here. I got fed up and messaged them on Facebook and said I believe their father is also my father, however it’s been a few days and they have not checked the message but have been active online.
I want to get advice of what I should do next? Do I keep trying to message but could that go down as harassment (however the son has never told me to stop messaging).
I would appreciate some advice to pass onto my friend x

Personally I wouldn't want to be part of his lies. He's kept her a dirty little secret for years. It's pathetic.

I'd be inclined to wait but... Because of the dementia diagnosis statement... Id just go over there personally. Introduce yourself to the siblings. Sure, the shit will hit the fan but, she needs to know. And so do they.

It's a difficult situation as dealing with family illness is hard. It's a shame to have to tell them now but, she should go before he forgets her. He may be a jerk but I'm sure she still wants to see him and at the very least, get her goodbyes in.

But also, don't be surprised if they actually DO know. And the dementia message was bs to keep her away. Many grown up kids care more about their possible share of inheritance money than meeting new siblings unfortunately. And there are weird family dynamics where the mother absolutely knows he cheated but her and her children keep it a family secret.

This is what I feel and I strongly believe they know and the dementia story is bs. I have also told her to pay him a visit and see with her own eyes of the way he is.