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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My family don’t want me.

4 replies

Theydontwantme · 19/10/2025 09:38

I’ve just come to realise that my family don’t want me. I’ve always been a little bit different, took a different path in life. I’ve always been interested in different peoples lives and opinions and love to talk. My family want me to just be a yes person, never question them. I’m the only one who is like this and I’m always been on the outside, an after thought.
My sister followed the same path as mum, children as a teenager, money, house. I have those things but I did it a different way and I’m vocal that we don’t all have to be the same. My mum gets angry when she is challenged. Apparently I am the problem.

Anyway I’ve read a few threads about narc families and I think mine is. My mum is surrounded by people who support her, my dad just agrees and he has to pass everything past her. My sister is around her house all the time, no friends , never comes to me. I have lots of friends so I don’t feel the need to live at my mums house. None of my family visit my family and I hardly go now because they don’t bother with us.

Anyway I just wanted to say that I feel quite sad that my family don’t want me. I try and live by my belief that we don’t all have to be the same to be loved and I encourage my children to be who they are. But sometimes I look out at the closeness my sister and her kids have with parents and we are on our own. But to be close I have to abandon my opinions and I can’t.

OP posts:
speakball · 19/10/2025 10:23

Hi op. If you like reading I can recommend googling topics like authenticity and attachment. I understand the dynamic you talk about and the above themes will give you some clarity on how to proceed.

Theydontwantme · 19/10/2025 10:32

speakball · 19/10/2025 10:23

Hi op. If you like reading I can recommend googling topics like authenticity and attachment. I understand the dynamic you talk about and the above themes will give you some clarity on how to proceed.

I just googled those two words together and I really feel like this. I can’t be me and connected to them at the same time because they don’t want me. It makes me very sad. When I see them I feel like an odd ball, a freak.

OP posts:
SamphiretheTervosaur · 19/10/2025 10:33

I was you.

Find your own family. I found DH when I was about 20. We made our own family unit and have not been much troubled by the games our families play.

You can't be hurt by a lack of inclusion if you firmly understand that you would not happily accept any invitation anyway

Be your square peg self...

Theydontwantme · 19/10/2025 10:39

SamphiretheTervosaur · 19/10/2025 10:33

I was you.

Find your own family. I found DH when I was about 20. We made our own family unit and have not been much troubled by the games our families play.

You can't be hurt by a lack of inclusion if you firmly understand that you would not happily accept any invitation anyway

Be your square peg self...

I could not fit into my family even if I tried. Their views are strange and they aren’t that nice really underneath. They are not inclusive or accepting of people and I am the total opposite. They are ableist, sexiest and many other “ist”…I just wish I had a different family and we were close.

OP posts:
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