I don't think I've ever been in this situation before. I've ended relationships before, hoping it would wake the guy up to change, and it hasn't and I've chased them back and hoped they would start again with me, only to be rejected and heartbroken.
But I've never been in the situation of knowing you had to end things,being strong enough to do it, and falling completely out of love with them overnight. I never knew that not being in love anymore, could hurt so much. But also not wanting them as a friend, because you know it could just end up toxic, but not being able to put a finger on why.
It wasn't really an official relationship of sorts, but a very deep deep love inside a situationship, where circumstance (both from different countries, backgrounds, beliefs, socio-economic situations) meant it couldn't really go further than that.