I think my older sis is never happy for me..

[yelpfornohelp]

I don’t know if it’s just a bigger sister to little sister thing, but my sis who’s a year older than me (we’re in our 30s now), is just never happy for me.
It’s got to the point where I don’t tell her things or try and tone things down because I feel uncomfortable at her reaction.
I feel like she just sees me as her rival and not someone to care for and look after. I mean I don’t want to be looked after but we’ve never had that kind of relationship.
For instance DH and I just sold our house and I can tell she doesn’t want to talk about it. When I got a very small promotion at work, after being in the same role for years, I felt she couldn’t make herself say well done or even act remotely happy.
When she’s come over my house in the past and I say, decorated my DD’s room, she wouldn’t even want to have a look at try and change the subject.
But when I’ve gone through hard times. Say bad mental health, or problems with one of my DC, she seems to be very interested, and I almost feel she rises up, literally, when I’m in a bad situation.

I dunno why I’m writing this down really but I wanted to know if others feel the same, or had any tips to not let it bother me..

doesnt sound like a very close and loving relationship

so maybe don’t be so open about the good and bad times

You say she doesn’t see you as someone to ‘care for and look out for’, but it seems pretty clear that she does, but thinks you only need care when you’re in a difficult place.

Some people are like that — my mother is one. She thinks there’s no need for her in someone’s life if they’re well and happy.

I do find it irritating and rather sad (I can hear her switching off if I phone her with good news or even just in a good mood), but that’s what she’s like. It’s poor self-esteem in her case, certainly not rivalry. She thinks there’s only a need for her in someone’s life, even her own adult children’s, if they’re in a bad place.

Which obviously doesn’t help our relationship!