Do you find men like to make the first move and ask a woman out?

[cheesecadet]

Just curious in your experiences really, have you found that men online dating like to ask the woman out first? How realistic is it to think that the ones that take their time are the ones that are more sensible and want to be sure if the connection etc right, or they don't have the nerve to do it? Do men like the woman to make the first move?

This time around it feels that most men I've chatted to have wanted to hold back a bit. And I'm not complaining really because that's sensible but I can't tell if they're interested. I'm currently speaking with two, one lives an hour away and made a point of asking where I was from and far it was 🤔 (even though it says on my profile) but we have carried on chatting. He was the one to first say "we could've met for a nice walk" when chatting about walking our dogs the other day at the same time. So I said "I'd love that, what about one evening or the weekend" to which he replied, that would be lovely, shall we chat for a bit and see if there's any compatibility, which is good but a bit confusing.

Second one lives much closer to me and we have lots in common, we have briefly mentioned that we seem to get on well. But we've been messaging nearly a week now. He says he is quite shy and wouldn't have the first idea about approaching someone in a bar and striking up a conversation but he said all good so far here. I said he'd be fine judging by his conversation on here (WhatsApp, he asked for my number quite soon), and we've got quite a bit in common which is nice. He said definitely, I think I've got that imposter syndrome!

So, just your experiences really on the whole, I've done a poll.

I’ll say up front - I’m a man: Personally, if the conversation is going okay, I’d want to meet asap. I think if they’re reluctant to meet, it’s a bad sign: Good chance they’re actually emotionally unavailable and not ready to date, or that they don’t want to invest any time unless / until they think they’re onto a sure thing. I’ve certainly had women friends tell me that the man who talks about compatibility usually means ‘let’s be sure we want to fuck each other before I make any effort’.
Women making the first move feels great - but I’d just be wary of the man who doesn’t want to.

Woman here and I OLD a few years ago (3). The interested ones want to meet soon the tire kickers just want to chat. After 72 hours if they didn’t ask me out on a date I would block and delete no explanation. Worked well for me

also adding- I expected to be added to their LinkedIn as I wanted to make sure they were who they said they were

The one that mentioned compatibility also said he wasn't one for talking for weeks and weeks, he'd rather just meet and see if there's chemistry!

To me it gets a bit frustrating after a while, I just want to meet after a week of chatting.

From experience on OLD most men just want to waste your time, use you and toss you aside. Then when you want them gone, they return repeatedly to try to waste more of your time.

I can recommend cat ownership. Far less stressful and you sleep better at night! Good men are impossible to find these days. It’s not Cliché it’s true.

In a world where women often complain that their husbands or partners can’t handle their emotions, do any mental workload, become small-minded etc. I find it strange the same women seem so ready to make the first step to save the men the effort.
Bad precedent to set.
Agency doesn’t mean doing all the legwork or make up for a man’s inertia. When the ball is in their camp, leave it there.
And most men like to win. They ll never refuse a freebie but they won’t appreciate it as much as something they feel they have earned.
And very few wake up in the morning thinking “I want a deeper relationship and I m ready to work on it” especially if there are freebies around. You need to leave them time and space to decide to get rid of their outer layer of player. If you get in touch before they get there on their own, they can stop the thinking, the dilemma between staying a player or going for deeper, the emotional investment … they stay in player mode and you ll never be more than a freebie, even if you are Miss Universe.
And most often, a woman who chases is a woman who can’t sit on her emotions, is too eager or fragile. Not judging, I have been that woman most of my disastrous dating life (until I got it).
Let them do the first step.
Unless you’re supremely self-confident, aren’t affected by rejection, and know how to avoid all the traps that will turn you into a freebie.

@inkognitha good advice.

Generally I wait for men to take the initiative, but OLD is a different kettle of fish.

LOADS of men are only on there for sexting or an ego boost and are time-wasting. So if they don't mention coffee within 24 hours, I invite them out for one. I don't want to invest time in someone who is a non-starter, so the coffee date weeds them out.

If they can't make it within a week, then they don't have the time available to date at all, IMO. Or they have no intention of ever meeting. Either way - on to the next.

Once we've been for a short coffee date, then I leave it up to them to ask for a 'proper' date (unless I don't want to see them again, in which case I tactfully tell them). If they haven't arranged another date within a week, they are binned.

I don't do loads of chat/texts - if men want to get to know me, they have to do it IRL.

This

‘LOADS of men are only on there for sexting or an ego boost and are time-wasting.’

probably most of them married or in a relationship!

I find most men ask to meet up quickly, within a few days which would be good for me, I never liked being asked after the first message, I prefer a bit of conversation to see if we are compatible first. Also I wouldn’t see it going anywhere if no date set within 4-5 days
I have asked to meet up although in those cases it was me that was more keen than them.

I found that the older a guy is, the more likely he is to ask you out quickly. Younger ones drag it out for some reason