I had my DD 3 weeks ago, this is my second DC but my first with my current partner.
His Mum has always wanted a daughter and when she found out we were expecting, made it very clear from the beginning that she hoped so much for a little girl. We then found out we were having our DD! She was thrilled and has been borderline obsessed since. She wouldn’t leave me alone during my pregnancy! I was messaged almost daily asking for pictures of my bump and she wanted to see us all the time. She has bought so many things for her house, almost kitting out a full bedroom for DD. She also sent a Fathers Day card to DP from our unborn DD in June, which really upset me.
When DD was born, she has been worse. She came to meet her the day she was born and massively overstayed her welcome. In the end, I had to go upstairs with DD and asked DP to ask them to leave as it had been hours and they kept asking if we could all have a take-away. I just wanted to rest as I had only given birth that morning.
A few days later, they came to visit again and we told them to please stay no longer than 2 hours which we felt was very generous. FIL turned up with beers and watched football on his phone while MIL wanted to constantly hold DD and undermined me a lot by highlighting how amazing Daddy is and saying things like, “Daddy can do it” whenever I went to get my DD. If she cried, they would be hesitant to hand her back making comments like, “we know what we are doing” and despite the two hour visiting boundary, they stayed for 3 hours which MIL thought was funny when she noticed and FIL commented he “won’t have a time limit on how long he can see his Grandchild!”
MIL still messages me multiple times a day and when I was visiting my DM and she found out, she then messaged my DM saying how much she loved their granddaughter. She wants to visit us multiple times a week, she plasters pictures of DD all over Facebook, she sent a pic of DD to her entire address book after she had been born and she created a FB group with me and DP and often requests we send her videos or pictures of DD or asks for frequent updates. We also get told we need to thank certain members of their family if they give us a gift for DD, which is something we are very good at and don’t need telling.
They’ve already started discussing family holidays next year, events they want to attend with us and even invited themselves to the Pumpkin Patch for my birthday last week.
I have found this all overwhelming and I am struggling to enjoy these early weeks with my beautiful DD. I am constantly anxious about the next time we see her or I hear from her. I am also quite anxious about DD being out of my arms for too long. I am EBF and my hormones are still a bit all over but being around DP family is adding to it.
I am not sure why I am posting this to be honest, I am just so overwhelmed and can feel that this may come between myself and DP. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.