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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Narcissist or my imagination

10 replies

Billybob91 · 15/10/2025 21:47

10 Years and 2 kids. ( 18 month old and 5 year old)

I do everything. Washing, washing up, hoover, sort the kids (dressed, fed, play etc) strip the beds, bath the kids, dinners everything. Wake up with my youngest everymorning. And he goes work 5 days a week varying finishing times from 2 to 6pm. Being a mum is a 24/7 exhausting yet most rewarding job. However i feel my partner makes things so much harder.

Some examples of what he says/does:

In an argument if i dont understand what hes saying he will say "omg talking to you is like talking to Jax" (my 5 year old)

In arguments i get brain fog/mind goes blank and i cant remember anything i wanted to say

He comes home and if i havnt taken the rubbush out hell make it known the house stinks (but honest it doesnt and bin has a lid) i just just not do it .. its because i dont wanna leave my son to go round the back to do rubbish...or im doing his food/nappy/clothing/playing/washing instead

He isinuates i take things to personal and need to chill out

I dont "put out" enough

I dont have any sort of break. I have no one to help or watch the boys for an hour so i have not had a break since before my eldest was born... 5 years ago.

He has been on work weekends away/nights out

He moans if i soend too much money to the point i feel i have to list and justify it but he says " thats your problem you feel you need to justify it"

Offers to help but mainly asks when ive done it all and he knows it

If my son gets upset about going to school .. which he has a few times ... he will say " come on dont RUIN THE DAY... but say it shitty.

The other day he moaned as i had stuff to go in the shed and he was like ... oh wheres that going? I said "your shed" he was like "fuck off theres no room i need to sort it all out" in which i replied ok chill out i just cant be having tools within reach of the boys and he suggested there NOT going in the shed so to find somewhere else.

In arguments... he says "oh yeah coz your perfect aint you. Perfect Amy" which ive never said im perfect ... everyone has flaws.

He makes me question who i am.

He comes home from work and sits on his phone all night while im doing wverything else.

I suggest taking the boys soft play and hes like nooo i dont like it. I dont want to go on things. Now, as a mum theres loads of things i dont want to do hahah get up 6am everyday ! Feel like nodding off in the afternoon but i cant as i need to make lunch for my youngest lol walking 8 miles per day to get my son to school and back and with the buggy 5 days a week.

I just feel im inconvenient.

OP posts:
Merseymum1980 · 15/10/2025 22:20

Watch Danielle Radin on you tube

Properjob · 15/10/2025 23:39

My God woman. You'd be much better off without him. And yes the kids too he's setting such a bad example to them.
Difficult to say he's a narcissist or not but you are worth more than this. Get advice, get out. At least stop doing anything for him.

Imbusytodaysorry · 16/10/2025 03:37

@Billybob91 make your plan to leave.
He is horrible and it’s no way to live x

Bonden · 16/10/2025 03:53

He is an absolute waste of time

Zanatdy · 16/10/2025 05:16

You need to leave. He is lazy, rude and arrogant.

wannagoome · 16/10/2025 05:21

Agree you will likely find life easier without him. Just caution as you say you don’t have support nearby. He may be able to stop you moving away and can demand 50/50 childcare. Get good legal advice before doing anything. Many lawyers will give a free half hour. Good luck.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 16/10/2025 06:13

Your relationship with him should now end.

Get him out of your day to day life. Relationships are not supposed to be this hard honestly and he’s furthermore a bad example to your kids. He gaslights you too which is an.example of psychological abuse.

What is the situation re the finances and property?.

Kidsgotothatschool · 16/10/2025 06:14

Studies have shown that husbands/partners can add seven hours of extra workload, I’m sure in his case it’s more. Honestly that’s seven plus hours you could claw back for yourself. It’s a no brainier. Get rid.

Thingyfanding1 · 16/10/2025 06:19

He's bringing nothing to the table here. I agree, you're better off without him.

Screwyoudavid · 16/10/2025 08:32

You need a job and an exit plan now, yes he is an abusive dick and you can't see the woods for the tree's here.

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