Cut contact with db?

[Notsureaboutanythijv]

My db has had many issues over the years and for the last few has been drinking heavily, He sometimes calls me when drunk,very emotional, unpleasant, blaming , etc and frequently calls 999. He does not appear to be making any proper effort to get help or treatment. His 2 teenage children are failing at school and don’t see him much. He blames everyone else for his issues and does not appear to take much responsibility.
i have some issues which are made a thousand times worse when he calls or now even the thought he could call.
Aibu to either cut contact or tell him I can’t cope with his behaviour?

You cant help someone who does not want to be helped. You need to be well enough to look after yourself first. So for me, you are not being unreasonable

Well if he’s an alcoholic then telling him you cant cope won’t make any difference. Will it make you feel better ? If so do it, but it wont make him change.

It might help you to go along to some meetings at Al Anon, which is for the friends and family of those who have addictions. The people there will support you whatever you decide to do - stay in contact or not. There’s no right or wrong choice - only whats best for you.

It can really help to speak to others who are in the same situation and understand how stressful it is.

I would suggest therapy, a visit to the GP and looking for a diagnosis. A mental health condition, disorder, along with trauma is usually the route cause. Maybe he's looking for answers to his problem.

@Bakerbiscuit thank you. He’s already done that route as the mh conditions pre existed the drinking,

@N0Tfunny thanks. Yes it might help but as you say it may not make a difference.
I will think about the meetings.
Msybe I should just block my number force while?

Bump

My sister is/was like this. No judgement from me on the alcohol thing as I was an alcoholic too (in recovery now), but with the drunk calling, and blaming everybody else for everything, and the constant drama llamaing, hell yes, I judge.

I refuse to have her on FB, and God help anyone who ever gives her my phone number. I'm done with that shit. She can tell it to someone who cares, and that someone is not me.

Protect yourself and go NC. You can't help him, that's on him.

@mbosnz thank you and well done for getting through it yourself 💐
id have sympathy if he did something constructive to help himself and laid off the blaming others and self pity. I can’t risk my health for his 😞