Giving up on dating and tinder!!

[Feralbookworm]

Is there any hope out there when it comes to dating?
I’ve been single nearly a year now and decided to give tinder a go a while back. Been on a few dates but nothing serious.
i got friendly with a guy a month or so ago, we had been chatting constantly everyday. Had planned to meet up sooner but I had surgery. Chatted most nights on the phone and seemed to have a really good chemistry (albeit we hadn’t met).
He mentioned a while ago he was no longer on tinder and I said neither am I because it was bugging me and I couldn’t be bothered with it.
Yesterday I got a message that stated his friend saw me on tinder and he’s now blocked me, cut off all contact without letting me reply . I deleted my account but we never chatted about being exclusive as we hadn’t even met!! Why am I so annoyed by this?

You have to let it go. It helps to view people you talk to on OLD as not really real until you’ve met them. Don’t blame them, don’t get annoyed, it’s all part and parcel of OLD. People moan about it but if you can have a thick skin and not get invested until you’re actually dating someone it can be a great way to meet people. I personally wouldn’t talk to someone for weeks on end without meeting, it creates a false sense of intimacy and you could be completely wasting your time as you can’t know if there’s a spark till you meet up. I think there’s a happy medium between sussing out if you’re going to get along with someone and talking for too long. Usually about a week of regular messaging and you know if you’re likely to fancy them or not. Then meet them. If during that week they disappear/ghost you whatever, so what, it happens and it’s probably not personal, just move on to the next one. It’s a numbers game, that’s just the reality

Get your face out of your phone and your arse out of the house and go meet someone organically.

His "friend" has done you a huge favour, can you imagine the problems this level of control could have caused you if you had met face to face and he knew where you lived.

@Spookygooseyes I agree. Any other time I met up it was after a week or so but because I’d surgery I was housebound then a few weeks. Usually im pretty thick skinned and not much phases me but for some reason this just was a surprise

@PrincessFluffyPants Yes actually you’re right. Probably a lucky enough escape

@zipadeedodahThat’s all well and good but when you’re a single parent with 2 children it’s not that easy unfortunately

I was actually pleasantly surprised by online dating but I just treated it as a way to get to know new people.

The trouble with people meeting in the wild is that you never quite sure whether they're interested, looking for someone, married etc whereas at least on a dating app they are (pretending to be) available and the endgame is to go on a date.

My way of dealing with it was not to take anything personally whatsoever and if there were any issues it was a them problem.

Actually went on some really nice dates and met some nice guys who weren't for me and through tinder met my current partner who I've been with over a year now and he's absolutely lovely and ticks all the boxes.

I'm mid 50s and so is he. So my advice would be don't chat for very long go and meet them straight away because you can build up this false sense of knowing somebody and it can get flirty etc and then when you meet them you're just not into them at all.

Stop getting so intimate and attached with someone you haven’t met. The apps are for meeting and then arranging dates, then the continued getting to
know each other should be in person. Otherwise you are so vulnerable to time wasters - see the situation in now, you are about to give up on dating apps over some guy you haven’t even met?!

Im early 50s and giving up. I did meet someone through OLD but decided after 18mths we wanted different things. Last few months dipped my toe back in and there's so much dross out there, just can't be arsed. I'd love to meet someone naturally amd just get to know them without expectation or agenda ie through work, a hobby etc but the older you get the harder that becomes.

Tbh, I'd happily just have a house mate and the dog for company rather than the hassle of romantic relationships which I've always been rubbish at.