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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Living together thinking of emigrating

8 replies

Jdgjdg · 13/10/2025 18:30

I’ve been living with my partner at her house for a few months now. She has two kids.
I work at my own house

we don’t seem to do much together - in the mornings I’ll make her a hot drink and go to work.

in the evenings in the week she does things with her son or goes and does some sport on her own

shes fussy with food, we don’t eat together as a family at the table and so far we’ve been unable to plan meals together or arrange food shopping.

I suspect she has adhd. I feel like she avoids me.

the house is very messy and I’m finding it hard to live there.

she has made some small changes and I realise moving into someone else’s home is not the easiest (new place together would be better)

I don’t think I’m the easiest to live with either - I’m on the spectrum I think and do the recycling ‘properly’ which has been causing issues as I am critical and direct

I have a few friends who have said to end it.
just read a similar post where someone said they felt lonely in their relationship.

we do sometimes do things but if i try talking to her it seems to make it worse.

maybe im answering my own question here but interested for opinions please

maybe we are just not right for each other. Not sure I can go through the dating apps again

OP posts:
ELO10538 · 13/10/2025 19:56

Frankly, I cannot see what you get from this relationship.
I would end it if I were you.

carmak · 13/10/2025 20:00

Doing the recycling properly and hating a messy house are GOOD things OP.

You are many women's ideal man, just not right for her.

BigFatLiar · 13/10/2025 20:31

I'd move back to my own place.

Why emigrating?

Jdgjdg · 13/10/2025 20:47

thanks for the replies so far

she thinks the uk is not good for the future of her kids hence emigrating, that’s why we are trying living together. She has been offered a job abroad

we’ve been together almost 2 years. Some friends say I’ve been unhappy about 6 months

im not perfect by any means and have had some mental health issues since covid

maybe we are not right for each other.

She’s attractive and we have great sex but need and want more than that. Doesn’t feel like a team but 2 people doing their own thing

OP posts:
Usernameisunavailable · 14/10/2025 00:47

For heaven’s sake don’t emigrate with someone who you seem to have very little in common with other than decent sex! The relationship seems to have run its course based on what you’ve posted above. I’d be looking to move out if I was in your shoes.

Zanatdy · 14/10/2025 04:41

Sounds like it would be disastrous to emigrate. I agree with your friends in ending this relationship. Sounds like you’re two people co-existing in the same house rather than a couple.

DeadsoulsAngel · 14/10/2025 06:07

Yup, it’s not a good match OP, here or abroad.

btw, if someone wants to come and be the only other person in this house who tidies up and can recycle properly…. I’d love that! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ that!

Ontheedgeofit · 14/10/2025 06:29

Where are you considering emigrating to OP? And are you reliant on each other in order to do this in terms of visa’s etc?

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