Re-marriage when house is my sole name

[approachingretirement]

My partner and I have been together 8yrs and have recently talked about getting married. He moved in with me and the house is solely in my name with it going 50/50 to my children upon my death. He knows that and that he will need to move out of I go first. I dont want that to change as he's younger than me and I would like my kids to get their inheritance sooner rather than later. Can I specify in my will for that still to happen even if we get married? TIA.

Get a new will when you get married to reflect your current wishes, as others say marriage invalidates previous wills.
Though if you are worried about you and him divorcing and him getting half the house (I’m not saying you are, but others have mentioned it) then you shouldn’t get married as marriage shouldn’t be entered into planning for a potential divorce.

In the situation you describe, the answer is not to get married.

getting married gives him a claim on what would otherwise be your children’s inheritance. Pretty straightforward, no complications if…. You do not get married.

hoe have you covered who has responsibility for maintenance to the house, while he lives there after you are gone?

I think those of us who've been around the marriage block know that no one thinks they may get divorced when they marry. Divorce happens. Many are blind sided by it. If there is no good reason to marry (apart from some romantic idealization of marriage) then it is probably best not to do so in a situation where there is financial loss/insecurity that would follow a divorce.

My friend's mother did this and its been a nightmare for her DC. They now have a very elderly man, who has remarried himself, living in their house, who is completely incapable of maintaining it.

There may be legal steps they can take, as he's failing in his obligations, but it's certainly not straightforward.

Don’t do it. He will get the house whether u want him or not to get it. Even a prenup they can get around now if he shows he will be made homeless.

Ah, I didn't think of that! So, no right to even live in 'my' house if I die first? Seems harsh, but I guess I hadn't thought of his remarrying and the complications that might bring. Yikes!

Even that you have to be careful with, if he's living in your house. He could have a claim to contest the will if he can show he was dependent on you, married or not.

Though if you are worried about you and him divorcing and him getting half the house (I’m not saying you are, but others have mentioned it) then you shouldn’t get married as marriage shouldn’t be entered into planning for a potential divorce

come on, no one gets married thinking it'll end in divorce but surely everyone knows someone who has, is it now 50% of marriages end in divorce? So it's very sensible to plan for the worst but hope it won't happen to you

Good grief, you've given me a lot of think about (apologies, OP for hijacking your thread)! I'm not currently seriously considering inviting him to live with me (I like my own space, my DC and I have our bond, and I don't want to introduce too many changes), but I do have occasional dreamy-eyed moments of thinking how lovely it would be for us to live together. I'll keep those moments firmly in check!

I paid for a co habitation agreement. Was around £500 - this was 12yrs ago

house was mine mortgage free before we met. He never paid anything towards keep of house and has no claim

agree be very careful and take legal advice before considering marrying esp if he doesn’t haven’t property

Get legal advice. It may be possible to put the house in trust for you and your kids now with a lifetime interest in it for you. That would protect it in the event of divorce.

However, this means that should you suddenly need to sell your home for other reasons, you can't unless you have a mechanism and funds to break the trust. Don't know if your kids would have to give consent if they are still/no longer minors. Not my area of expertise, just party to a conversation with a friend who did just this.

Otherwise, I wouldn't get married. The simplest thing is to get legal advice and then decide.

also something I hadn't thought of! Thanks!

What assets does he have @approachingretirement ?

For something this serious, I'd suggest you seek proper legal advice.

You’d be utterly mad to get married legally. Just have the reception and a ceremony but don’t do it legally. The house should go in a trust for the kids either way. You can be the trustee.

Get legal advice.

Dp and I have not married but live together. We each own a proportion of our house, as tenants in common. We are mutually each other’s beneficiaries for monthly spouse pension payments if the other dies, but death in service lump sums, life insurance and each part of the house goes separately to our adult children. Each of us has the right to live in the house for up to five years after the other’s death, after which we must buy the other’s children out or sell to realise the cash. We’ve both accepted that we probably won’t be able to afford to live here solo anyway - we’ll, I have; do may inherit in the future and be able to fund staying here if he wants.

That’s following legal advice plus observing various catastrophes in the people around us. We also accept that you can’t predict everything in life - this is just our best shot. Tbh I would like to marry dp but from a financial point of view it’s probably not ideal.

My parents divorced 38 years ago and neither of them have ever lived with another partner, or re-married for this very reason.

My sister has got a long-term partner of 10 years and she has made it clear to him that she will never marry him or buy a house with him, because she wants her current house to go to her children upon her death without any complicating factors.

If you want your assets and your money going to your children then don’t add a spouse into the mix.

Even this comes with Risks. If your child marries and divorces, half the house is their partner's they can force you to buy out their portion or god forbid your child dies, that house goes to their partner now, they can kick you out and sell the home from underneath you.

Don't get married. Whole can of worms if you do and it's not really necessary is it. Just don't do it.

In my eyes this carries much more risk. OP's house becomes an asset in any divorce her DC go through and an asset of their estates. Not to mention any future family rift...

Prenup and will to reflect this.

Does he bring any assets to the table that he wants to protect, if you marry.

Personally I wouldn't get married. I have a business and two houses, these are my kids' future and I would never risk a man getting them instead, no matter how much I loved him.

My gf remarried, divorced my dg following an affair but left half of his estate to her in his will. On his death the new wife contested everything and it was all basically lost in legal fees anyway. He'd been a wealthy man and no one saw any of it, bar the wife keeping the house

If you have no intentions to sell the house then I’d suggest a deed of gift / transfer of equity. You are effectively gifting your children the house so even if you marry and divorce, new DH has no claim on it.

if you outlive the 7 year tax rule, they won’t pay any inheritance tax either. So it’s a win win.