What did I do?! (a friend thing) and long

[Idontsmell]

I live in a small street.
I've been here 7 years and so has another woman with her bf and DC's plus her Mum living a few doors away.
We've always got on well, not friends but friendly acquaitances, especially since our girls are best friends.
We did a course together at the early part of this year, it was fun and we'd always walk there together.
We're doing another course and her sister (who lives next door)is doing it too.
They keep lying and making things up so I won't be with them. Now I don't mind being by myself but this hurts.
Am I being pathetic?

no you are not being pathetic. it hurts when a friendship changes, especially when you dont knwo why

They sound like six year olds, and you're better off without them.

Do all her family live in the same small street? Sounds over cosy to me! If you feel they are being dishonest to avoid you - my temptation would be to do the same !!! I imagine they are a very insular family - and it might make a point!

I know I'm better off without them but it hurts, I didn't do anything wrong and DD will be playing out with their kids all summer.
The one that lives next door said I could borrow her lawnmower any time, I asked today and she said yes, then cut her own grass and put it away whilst looking at me.

It's not about the grass but they keep pushing me out. They've done it a few times and always with lies to get rid of me, even though I don't go near them unless invited.

It makes it worse that I did a course with one of them and she was fine then! I feel very used and pushed out and really, a bit worthless

Sounds like it is the sister's insecurities behind this. Perhaps she resents your friendship with her sister and is therefore ensuring that you keep way.

We never did have a friendship. We were neighbours that got on well and had a laugh.

Now I'm clearly not needed for anything, not even a 5 minute chat on the way to school, more someone to avoid even if they have to lie to avoid me because someone else came along.

i would be pleasant but stay out of the way - i guess if your children are friends you actually see them a lot? perhaps it is time to take a step back and leave them to it. Does your dd have other friends to see?

DD plays out with all the children of the Mum's that are doing this!
I have been pleasant, I've smiled and just gone along with it, even though it's clear they are doing what they can to leave me out!
I must hve MUG written on my forehead

It sounds like playground tactics to me. Probably if you just fade into the background and just be pleasant but otherwise independent and dont ask for anything, they will find someone else to 'pick on'. It may be an idea to encourage other kids to come over and play with your DD so you as a family are generally more self reliant. It is probably the case that somebody has had their 'nose put out of joint' by your firndliness and it is not even worth trying to second guess why. Some communities are just very insular.

I want to fade into the background, I want to not see anyone but I can't. DD plays with all the kids.
I just don't get why they have to not only leave me out, but make sure I know I'm snubbed.

I really know how you feel,there's nothing worse than the hurt(and confusion)you feel when people treat you like this.

I am in a situation like yours,I also just want to keep away from the people involved but my dcs know theirs so I can't withdraw as much as I'd like to without affecting the children involved.

I grit my teeth,smile,and say a polite hello-nothing more,nothing less.

I won't be drawn to their level.

You've done nothing wrong,leave them to their sad little lives!

I know, I should be happy that I'd never treat anyone like that.
I chatted away to the woman on my course today. Apparently she's funny as she's fat and doesn't dress like she's into fashion!

I'll chat to anyone, I don't care what they wear but that doesn't stop me being upset.
I'm also ashamed that I had friends that were not only horrid to me, they judged others on clothes.

I guess it'll be easier to be alone now.

yes but no need to be alone - there are lots of lovely people out there so find them to get to know. good luck

That's the thing though, I genuinely don't mind being on my own. It's the snubbing thst hurts. We live in the same street, have always got on well, and are doing the same half hour walk to the same place one a week together so I don't see why they are making things up to not have me with them
It is childish but I'm wondering they're laughing and talking nastily behind my back when I really haven't done anything wrong.

You know I said about the ex friends that had messed me about and hurt me?

Today I stood right by them outside ds's classroom and I felt calm for the first time since we went our separate ways.

It was really good,I felt no anger,no injustice,didn't worry what they may say-zilch!

They've gone back to just being other mums at the school again.

It felt really good!

I never thought I'd get over what they did,but given time-a bit of 'mourning'for the friends I thought I had,and I'm over it!

Give it time and you'll find some real friends.

Also,there's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company-I need a bit of space to keep me sane!

I can see why you would be a bit upset, but i cant see why your letting it get you you so much. They are arseholes, why would you wanna be friends with them anyway? Stick two fingers up to them and move on.

thats great if you are ok with your own company. I think what happens is that nice people ie you rarely decide not to like other people - they prefer to like everyone and see the good in others, and sadly not everyone is worthy of that. You now know them a bit better and don't like everything you see. Its ok to move on.