Jealousy!!

[tiredmumma90]

Help me out please!!

My daughter met a girl who she became best friends with (their both 8) I then became best friends with the girls mum.
Every time my daughter does something else out side of school with her other best friend, my friend then gets really jealous and gets her daughter to ask me to do things with her which is awkward especially when I have other things arranged.
I could walk out of school talking to other mums and she'll storm off and then wait ahead with a face like a smacked arse. Shes in her 30's mind.!

Her partner isn't very supportive and then because I dont help out (I have 3 children in total) she goes off on one saying shes got no one that helps her out and she may as well be on her own etc. I have my own children to look after.
She's even started ignoring my messages if me and my family go out and do activities and then I'll upload pictures on social media, I won't hear off of her cos shes in her childish faze of ignoring me 🙄

I just dont understand why she gets so jealous all the time. Its starting to really piss me off, I've kept my mouth shut for long enough now and its only so much I'll take before I snap!

What do you guys think i should do??

She's no friend of yours.

Faze her out. Take longer and longer to reply to messages until it's literally a whole day and more. Then 2 days. She'll stop eventually.

Let your DD stay friends with her DD, just back right away from this woman. She sounds mental !

I couldn't be arsed with such an immature friend. I'd tell her straight, "You have to accept that I have other friends too." And maybe invite her along, since she sounds lonely.

She sounds very unhappy and isolated. But behaving the way she is with you when you have offered her friendship is obviously destroying the relationship with you. I expect this is a usual pattern of behaviour with her.

All you can do is get on with your life, which sounds busy and full, and ignore her remarks and tantrums. But I think it would be kind if you can continue to do stuff with her when it fits in with your life schedule. And of course continue to enable your dd's friendship with her dd if possible.

Childish phase.
Phase her out.
I wasn't fazed.
His distress didn't faze her one bit.

"Faze" means to be disconcerted or somewhat disturbed or discouraged by something.
A phase is an episode or a short length of time.
Phase as a verb - i.e. to phase someone out - means to do something in stages.

For the future. 👍

I couldn't be bothered with that. I'd start phasing her out. You're entitled to a life of your own!!

Does she work?

Very childish behaviour. What exactly is in this friendship for you as I sounds very one sided. Ignore her petulant sulking and spend time with others.

I misprounced a term of wording, and you pick on that instead of giving advice. If you didn't like it, then you should have just kept scrolling 🤦🏼‍♀️👍🏼

I've included her in to MY group of friends which I didn't have to and she still acts like this towards me.

I can't be arsed and I think I will be phasing her out tbh. Thank you for your reply x

If your friends don’t wish to be friends with her, they won’t

they weren’t your group of friends

that were individual women that you had friendships with

you both sound like you are in year 8

I've included her in to MY group of friends which I didn't have to and she still acts like this towards me.

word for word what my 12 year old DD said to me a week ago

I am not "picking on" anything; it was misspelt by two people so a correction was obviously beneficial in order for people to look better in writing. It's my mission. And I did give advice in a separate post. The spellings were wrong and I'm doing a public service by pointing it out. I am rubbish at maths and appreciate when people correct my sums, as people on here did not so long ago during a thread about a basic maths question.

The spellings were wrong and now you know the right ones, even if you took offence at being shown the right ones.

I cannot BELIEVE the aggression towards spelling correction. (I did another thread about lose/loose.) It's not about being mean at all; it's about helping people. It's very silly to react aggressively to attempts to improve the use of some commonly misspelt words, imo. I am not going to just let people go around using the wrong spellings when I see it repeated over and over. It's the writing equivalent of just letting people go around with their knickers tucked into the back of their skirt.

And for people who don't RFTF, I posted a separate reply with advice about the OP's issue.

I will continue to correct misspellings that occur repeatedly, and I don't care if people don't like it - all I care about is that their spelling is improved, because it's for their own good.

Well this took a turn 😆

No-one is interested, it’s petty and you look like an idiot with your superiority. But crack on.

OP, this woman is not your friend. I couldn’t be doing with this level of jealousy. If you want your DD to remain friends then consider limiting your social media posts so she doesn’t see certain posts.

I feel strongly about it. Misspelling common words makes people look daft when they're not, which is a pity and does people a disservice. If I had spinach between my teeth or had left a curler in my hair, I would want to know, instead of going merrily around looking daft. I'm a line editor for a famous newspaper by trade and a teacher at heart. I've decided I WILL correct frequent misspellings on Mumsnet, for everyone's own good!

If you weren't so busy being aggressive, you'd see that I'm helping. I am not superior; I can't do maths at all. But the internet has made misspellings of common words spread like wildfire, and it makes people look bad in writing, which is a real pity. Crack on with your aggression and I'll crack on with my mission to help people look better in writing.

I think the woman in the post might be lonely and insecure, not a bad person.

You’re brave. Actually, I agree with you, but MN hates anyone correcting spellings.

I know! I'm actually keeping a list of all the insults and will post them one day. All because someone gently corrects frequent misspellings of a basic word so that they don't look daft when they're not, and when it matters. And the same people would correct their own children's spellings! But it's not OK to have their spelling corrected. The aggression at spelling corrections is wild! And the corrections are sorely needed; they are pretty basic words being misspelt all over because the damned internet has spread them like a pox. A pox which must be stamped out, and I don't GAF if people don't like the medicine! I love the insults because they must have read the corrections, so their spelling has been improved even though they insult, lol! I only have one talent, being a great speller, so this is my contribution to the battle against the internet's negative effects.

No-one is asking for your help though. An adult posting online for help is not going to welcome someone coming along and giving them a lesson in spelling. They just feel insulted. That’s why MN hates people correcting spelling. Yes, most of us also pick up on spelling mistakes, but people are asking for help and that’s the only thing you come on and say. No advice, no sympathy. Just a spelling correction.

So if you want to continue with your mission on correcting the nations spelling, then have some empathy for posters and at least acknowledge what they are asking about. Not just come on and give a patronising spelling lesson (as yes, that’s how it comes across despite your intention).

And the same people would correct their own children's spellings!

oh @CrystalShoe 🤭 this really made me chuckle.

You are relating what you’re doing to how we parent our children 😆

I'm actually keeping a list of all the insults and will post them one day.

I 100% believe that @CrystalShoe is going this and I am looking forward to the thread!

@CrystalShoe do you have children? Or do you see us mumsnetters as your children?

Lol! 'For their own good'! It's considered very bad form on here to correct people's spelling and grammar. It comes across as patronising, can derail a thread and can be intimidating to a vulnerable OP and can result in driving her off her own thread. It's definitely unhelpful and uncalled for.

Hopefully, she'll post it in Pedants' Corner rather than derailing another thread.

Stop being friends with her. You’re not her husband / partner these things aren’t your responsibility.