Questioning my sexuality

[lauribec]

I’ve been with my OH for 12.5 years. Since I was 20, we have 3 children together. He’s never helped with the kids, has a fast temper, is really controlling but tries to dress it up and is just never all that nice to me. Everything I do is always wrong, he will call me names at the drop of a hat. (Wondering if this might be why I’m feeling the way I do?)

Ive always considered myself straight. Never noticed other women in that sort of way. Can acknowledge a good looking female but never thought any more about it.

Anyway, my youngest started preschool recently and is not adjusting well at all so I’ve been invited in once per week to try and get her used to it. There’s a young lady that works there (early to mid 20s maybe) and I just get such a nice feeling about her, like there’s a bit of a spark.

Last week I was playing with my DC and she was near us with another child, I noticed her in the corner of my eye so I looked up and she was just starting at me. Honestly gave me butterflies 😂

I sound so daft but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her! I’m really lost as to why I feel the way I do, it just makes no sense to me. I do wonder if I’m just really drawn in by her kindness because I’m so not used to it at home.

Found her on Facebook and she’s got a boyfriend, has done for 7 years so maybe I’m completely off the mark 😂😂

Any ideas?!

Oh god you know she sounds lovely, so do you. I don't know what any of it means except to say your man isn't right for you

You know that.. get out of the situation and get some time on your own and you don't know what life may throw at you. You don't have to play to any set of rules.

I’d leave the questioning of your sexuality until way after you’ve ended your current unpleasant relationship. It will likely be clear one way or the other once you’ve been comfortably single for a while. Best not to look up your child’s preschool practitioners on social media too - you will likely start appearing as a suggested friend when she logs in.

I think your reaction might be more about the fact that your OH is a shit, rather than that you would prefer a woman. If he was considerate, helpful, supportive, loving, do you think you'd feel the same way? Do you think if it had been a young, good looking, sweet kind guy staring at you, that you'd NOT be feeling butterflies?
I'd guess that you're drawn to someone who seems to be all the things that your OH is not, that you're missing and looking for.

Children talk about and act out home scenarios to process them and make sense of them. Teaching staff know what happens in your home because of this. She was likely showing compassion and you are so starved of this you connected with that.

Now is not the time to focus on another relationship regardless of their sex. Concentrate on resolving your current situation, recovery and build your self esteem before you think about engaging in another relationship.

My idea would be to get out of your relationship before your children are irreparably damaged by it.

Nothing else matters at this stage.

Lauribec message me I was in a similar situation