am I being unreasonable??

[vickyB22]

am i being unreasonable by not wanting to have sex when i have my period?? - my boyfriend thinks so! i know some people do, but it's just not my thing. he thinks i should take his feelings into consideration. the more he rants the more unattractive i find him. we have been together 7 years, he is 20 years older than me.

If you're not comfortable doing something then the answer is no and that should be the end of it imo.

Its your body, and if your not comfy with something, then you dont do it.

For goodness' sake. Your period only lasts 3-4 days usually. If he can't forgo sex for that period of time to show consideration for your wishes, then I'm wondering why you're with him.

He sounds an idiot, to be honest. It is up to you- what is this- a power game?

Does he get mad and rant at other things you won't comply with- or just this?

thanks, sorry, delay in response, problems with internet connection. apparantly all other women havn't had a problem...starting to think i was abnormal!

girlnextdoor - its just sex - maybe it could be something to do with him going to catholic bording school??

Can't you get close in other ways beside intercourse? I find it odd that a man can't respect that you may not feel like it when you have your period. It isn't just about the obvious, but also about feeling tired and crampy etc, and generally not feeling sexy!
I personally don't mind it, but not every month, depends what mood I am in, but dh respects my wishes.

close in other ways...that would be great, but everytime i want a cuddle it leads to him wanting sex...

Then maybe he needs to learn more about 'other things' that can be done except sex! Show him the things you would like to do, have a nice meal then a bath together...maybe a massage?

good idea, he does need retraining. i suppose i've always thought he was so much wiser than me, as a lot older! how wrong!

I don't fancy it during my period either and i certainly don't fancy the laundry it would probably create.

Have never previously considered sharing a bath with any one while surfing the crimson wave but it doesn't appeal.

but, is it possible for a man in his mid 50's to learn about 'other things'?? maybe it is a power game, in general, he takes sex very seriously (it has to be called 'making love') whereas i'd prefer to have a shag & a laugh!
i think i'm going off the idea of sharing a bath with him at any time of the month.

Blame it on his school and religion,
Poor man and poor you. I wonder if I did hit the nail on the head about power/control?

he needs to loosen up- was he married or anything before you met? Does he have much experience? I think most ( but not all) women don't like sex during a period-just to save on the laundry if nothing else! it is also possible that we are all a bit dry down there too unless it's in full flow

Maybe this sex thing is just the tip of the iceberg with him?

Message withdrawn

yanbu, he is bullying you

You can blame the Pope for many things, but not this dilemma I think. As one who was brought up and educated RC, I do not think I ever heard any recommendation of sex during AF.

Although, maybe he sees it as the Safe Period. Are you not using any artificial contraception, Vicky?

it's not to do with the safe period, as we use contraception. more to do with an obsession with periods, even to the point of making comments in the supermarket when i buy sanitary towels, such as 'you only just had a period, i didn't think another one was due...' etc.

No yanbu, he is. Tell him to watch some tamporn if he likes the idea so much, and to GET OFF YOUR BACK ABOUT IT

It kind of reminds me of dogs on heat ughhh.

thanks!!that has cheered me up no end . was feeling a bit shit about whole thing.

In short, the problem is his, not yours. You are normal, he is a weirdo.

XH used to call my periods "the convenient time", because he said it gave me an excuse to avoid him for another week. How to make the little woman feel like , part 5,386.