Should I be annoyed?

[HellEvenDorisDay]

Or am I overreacting? Partner has been away for almost 3 days, partly work, partly hobby. Called to say on his way home and not to worry about cooking dinner as it’s on him. Great, I thought. Except he’s decided to go to a restaurant he knows I don’t like. And said I could join him and the kids if I wanted.

I wasn’t allowed to be annoyed. He thought I wouldn’t want to go as I made a fuss last time (all I remember saying is the food isn’t great and I would prefer to go somewhere else). He hadn’t considered an alternative because he’s paying. And I now I have to wait a couple of hours for him to get home before we can discuss. Am I wrong to be annoyed at being left out?

You’ve been alone with the kids for three days and he doesn’t at least try to help out with dinner?

Just unclench, accept the invite, order a large wine and pick something different than last time on the menu. It's a night off cooking and a free meal, what's not to like?

He’s sorting his and the kids dinner. Wasn’t going to invite me

I’m annoyed that he wasn’t going to invite me. I feel a bit pissed off about it. I’ll probably feel ok when he gets here and will go along

Could you clarify, when you say he’s sorting his and the kids dinner, do you mean he’s said he’s taking the kids out but knows you won’t want to go? Are they your kids together?

Our kids together. Phoned me to say not to cook, he was paying for dinner. I asked where. He told me. Then said I could come too if I wanted. But he thought I wouldn’t as I’d made a fuss the last time we went.

Just take the kids and go to dinner at a place YOU like.

Text him and say "You can come too, if you want."

Is he coming back to take the kids out?

Why would you be annoyed? Get a bottle of wine in the fridge, order a takeaway that you do like and get in the bath or go to bed with Netflix

Blow that. You go and find something on the Menu that you find tolerable. Have desert and coffee. He's being very selfish, but I'm guessing you know that.

How was it pitched? Did he mean to take the DC off your hands for a few hours so you could get some solo chill time at home to relax and do what you wanted and picked the restaurant on that basis? If you wanted to join for dinner then couldn’t you have said “I’ll come too but you know I don’t like anything on the menu there so let’s go to X place instead”?

Maybe he meant to take them off my hands. I did complain a bit this morning about their behaviour. But if so he did a very bad job of pitching it like that.

I don’t have enough money to take them to dinner myself as suggested. But I did buy what they asked for to make a nice meal tonight. Oh well, I’m not feeling so annoyed now, just a bit sad that I seem to be an after thought. But maybe I’m reading too much into it. He’ll be home soon and I’ll see what his plans are then

Your bigger issue is why you don't have money and he does.

So he’s been away and he’s coming back to take the children for dinner and you are not included, are you together or separated because this is strange behaviour from a husband or partner

"said I could join him and the kids if I wanted." So he did invite you didn't he?

You don't have money but he does and he chose a restaurant he knew you don't like. Sounds a bit crap.0

Jeezo, ‘you can come if you want’! WTAF? What kind of a relationship do you have? He’s been away, he is going to a restaurant he knows you don’t like, he has money and you don’t…. The restaurant is the least of your problems I am guessing.

Called to say on his way home and not to worry about cooking dinner

He thought I wouldn’t want to go as I made a fuss last time

He meant don't cook a dinner for him. He wasn't thinking about your need to eat at all But I bet you need to be grateful he's saved you a job, right? He's a manipulative horrible man and I bet this isn't the only thing he's done that's messed with your mind and left you feeling confused.