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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does the loneliness ever go away?

3 replies

ForeverHopeful3 · 10/10/2025 03:20

Hey everyone😕

Long story short, I broke up a 3.5 year relationship back in May, and its been really, really rough for me. I was very invested in this guy but he ended up being such a loser at the end of it that I couldn't justify staying any more.

Since then, I've done everything I can to occupy my time and focus on myself, and it's been fun. But I am so lonely. Even after all this time has passed, I still find myself kind of just going through the motions of life. I am no longer breaking down into an emotional mess, so that's an improvement, but oh boy does my heart feel sore.

Also, I'm finding myself wanting to keep my distance from all men. I don't want to talk to them, I don't want to flirt with them, I don't want anything to do with them. I deleted all the dating apps I had joined since being single. I'm just over having my hopes slashed by losers so it's gotten to the point where I don't want to talk to any of them. Is that normal? It alarms me because after I dumped my ex, I was excited and looking forward to dating again.

I am 33 years old, I want to find my husband, I want to get married and have kids. And I just miss having someone to love me 😞

OP posts:
Mysticaldeer · 10/10/2025 11:28

I'm sorry you are sad. I don't honestly think that dating apps do most women any favours.

I am older, but my perspective is you really need to meet someone face to face. I just think it must be really hard to do that nowadays.

There's so few nightclubs, pubs etc where people can meet. I don't think many decent men would dare approach a woman going about her daily business or in the gym etc , so I don't know what the answer is.

Hobbies and interests to meet like minded people, not necessarily even potential partners, but just new mates would be a start.

CaffeinatedSeagull · 10/10/2025 13:19

It sounds like you have been really hurt in the past @ForeverHopeful3. Things will get better and with time your heart will heal.

Carry on doing what you’re doing. Concentrate on you, spend time with friends and family to help combat the loneliness and be open to joining a group or club to meet new people.

TheAvidWriter · 10/10/2025 14:44

Hi OP. I read an interesting article on this the other day. Not sure where, but it generally said that there are more individuals who choose singlehood over relationships. I am in my 50´s and one of those who has long given up on even wanting someone in my life. And I stay clear off the opposite sex. Some men, similar age to me, just want someone to look after them, cook clean, sex, and give them all the moral support they need, but do not want to engage in "difficult women. Meaning women who know their worth.
I am not sure there is a theme generally, you sound younger than me, so its a sad place to find one self in. Not to mention feeling so lonely at times, it sucks.

Its like men tend to lean way too much on what us women use to be like, now we just moan, dont want to be sexy, or we are too sexy, too educated, or we are not exciting enough, maybe there is a better one out there. Not all men are like this, or women, may I add. It works somewhat both ways.

A good friend of mine is 20 years my senior, she is stunning, has a great job, and her life in order, yet she is unable to find a man to settle down with. They are all searching and swiping for the perfect woman, yet take offence if you are somehow doing ok in life, and its as if they need to take her down a notch or two, how dare she be successful. Mind blowing. She is also someone who has decided enough is enough, she is wanting children so will go down that route sole now as she is unable to find a partner in life, only a man child. And there is a lot of them out there.

At my ripe age, I see how easily people are discarded off, and with one swipe or another, someone new is on the arm before you can blink, and then they get discarded, and so it continues. No one really bothers with knowing who they truly are, as an individual, and or if they make a good partner, or if they are holding onto toxic behaviors because they lean way too much on what social media has thought them, to be like, and some of those things is mind blowing and very toxic and dangerous towards women.

I am sorry you are finding yourself lonely, but glad you know your own worth.

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