Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Quitting my dream job because I am in love with my coworker

4 replies

afoolspursuit · 08/10/2025 17:23

My current work situation is perfect for me. Realistically, I won't find anywhere better. My company is a small family business which has a unique "learn as you go" approach to things. What that means is that I'm given the leeway to learn how to do tasks I'm assigned to and as long as it works in the end (I do the IT bits of the business) that's good enough for them. This won't fly with any other company.

Over the past year I've found myself falling for my coworker. She's 100% straight. We talk everyday, text everyday, we sometimes even meet up on weekends to go for coffee despite already seeing each other 5 days a week! A few months ago, we went on a 2.5 week trip to bloody Australia together with her tween son. That's how close we are.

Nobody suspects a thing and this will almost definitely come out wrong but I look straight so despite most in the office knowing that I'm gay, our relationship comes across as us being very close friends.

Today I put in my 2 months notice because I can't move on with my life when I see her everyday. I told her I'm taking a short break before finding something else because I feel like there's nothing much for me to do at work (true) and I want something more challenging/meaningful (false). I know it's stupid. I'm 35 years old ffs. I guess I'm not asking for advice, just needed to let this out somewhere.

OP posts:
PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 08/10/2025 17:28

Honestly- your post sounds mature and composed. I think you’ve done the right thing. You know it’s not healthy so you have taken yourself away from the situation.

It sounds like professionally you probably need more of a challenge anyway.

Hillrunning · 08/10/2025 17:34

Are you planning o phasi g her out of your life? Im not clear on your end goal.

If you're so close, surely you cant talk to her about this? I have a friend who is in love with me. We talked about it. We agreed ways forward. Talked about what would/could me me uncomfortable that she agreed to avoid. Talked about things that would/could be upsetting for her that I agreed to avoid.

I make sure to watch out for signs that she is finding it too much. She's my friend, i want her to be ook.id have been devastated if she hadn't told me and jsut phased me out by seeing me less.

afoolspursuit · 08/10/2025 17:49

I'm not planning to phase her out. The idealistic part of my brain is saying that if/when I get a job somewhere else:

  1. I'll have more things to do at work which would be a welcome mental distraction for me
  2. We won't be in the same office so we won't be talking all day and also I don't have to spend the day jealous whenever I see her laughing with someone else

Maybe if there's a bit of space the feelings will subside. Hopefully?

OP posts:
Hillrunning · 08/10/2025 23:19

Oh I see, id not realised that it had become somewhat tortuous for you. In thst case yes some space is probably right.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page