How would you feel?

[Vivaleconfused]

Quick summary:

50th birthday.
Told DH for over 10 years that all I want for my 50th is to go to Greece. Over a decade he could have planned and saved.
Time got nearer and it was obviously never going to happen, so I suggested some other closer and cheaper places we could go to instead.
Money isn’t an issue, btw. I literally just wanted one holiday that I didn’t have to plan or book.
The few days before my birthday I realised nothing was going to happen, so I suggested camping. Free camping. We have all the equipment so nothing would have needed to be purchased.

Morning of my birthday, I got a necklace from him with our kids names on. Sweet gesture but it’s honestly hideous, probably £30?? And a box of chocolates that he was really chuffed to tell me were less than half price.

My birthday, I just did some ironing. I wasn’t even unhappy. I told him I was disappointed and he stormed off in a huff.

I think my 22 year marriage has come to an end because I feel nothing.

It Isn’t about the holiday, I just feel so unseen.

sorry to vent. I just want to know if my feelings are valid or if I’m blowing things out of proportion.

Book yourself a post birthday trip to Greece either alone or with a girlfriend. Enjoy yourself. It will give you a future of the single woman joy.

You can leave him as soon as you get back.

Yes, we all need our partner, however long they have been our partner, just to organise something completely of their own doing that is a pleasure to us. To be honest, it can be paid from with our joint money if needs be. It is completely that they spent some time away from us planning something that we would enjoy.

It's absolutely more important that he did the organising

I broke up with a guy because I'd asked him to organise getting a few friends together for drinks for my 40th. He didn't because he isn't bothered about celebrating his birthday - and he also didn't let me know in time for me to do the arrangements. It made me realise what I wanted was never going to be a priority in any way, so I stopped seeing him because of it.

It is very much about wanting someone to arrange something nice because it's something you'd appreciate. It doesn't have to be big and expensive, just show they were prepared to spend some time thinking about you and what would make you happy, because we all deserve thst once in a while.

I'm in two minds about this to be honest.
My 50 th fell In lock down, I had so many plans and it all went to shit. I was obviously pissed off.
I went with it and got my family together one year later and we celebrated everyone who couldn't.
Is it because he doesn't do the planning?. My husband never plans any to do with birthdays / Christmas / holidays I just crack on and do it, he comes along if he wants to, if he doesn't want to he misses out. Make your own life, make your own memories, don't rely on someone else, yes even a spouse to make your life.

But the OP has ended up with a miserable birthday because she decided it was him organising it or nothing. The only person suffering here is her.

If book it myself and go!

I'd

I second this!

Honestly how hard is it to book a trip to Greece, I could book one right now on my phone in about 10 minutes. I'm sorry he makes so little effort OP, if this is generally indicative of how he is, as it sounds like it is, I would feel the same.

@CuckooPond she’s suffering because she has a shit husband, not because she didn’t get a holiday.

This is why I love being single. I will never again be waiting around for someone do something to show they love me. I only spend time with people I know love me. Friends, my children. On my birthday my daughter likes to spend it with me. If she's no longer around I'll call a friend and have wine at theirs or book a restaurant.

When I come home I know the only mess that's going to be in the house is what I left there.

I'm not waiting for someone to prove they love me. It's exhausting and although it happened late in life I am so glad that I have another 40 years free of this exhausting, draining nonsense of waiting for some man to prove he gives a crap.

Time to do a Shirley Valentine!

I suspect this is the straw that broke the camels back? At 50 times to reevaluate your life and if you want to spend the rest of it with this man.

I hope it's not only the last birthday with him but also that last time you iron, cook, do his washing, or help him with anything. Look after number one (yourself) and the number two (him) can go to h....