Newly single mum - needing advice

[TheCuriousKoala]

Hi there,

I wanted to ask for some advice. I have just recently come out of a 15-year relationship with the father of my two children: my son, who is 12 and soon to be 13, and a 9-year-old daughter.

I have felt lonely for months, even when I was with him, but now I have never felt so alone in my life.

I don't really have anyone at all: one good friend, but she lives in scotland, and my family lives in Spain. I just feel so lost and alone.
I fear I won't ever find love again. My ex-husband said no one will want me because I am 31 with two kids and basically no career. I'm just a cleaner in a boarding school. I gained a bit of weight from drinking quite a bit in the evenings and comfort eating to make me feel better. So apparently I'm unlovable.

I was just wondering how single mums are coping and how they get on being on their own? And has anyone managed to meet someone? If so, how? And lastly.. does it get any better? 😔

Xxx

I’m sorry you’re going through this! I was in similar situation back in May! Childrens dad left found out someone else was very volatile for months. I was a wreck broken and so sad but now I’m a new person and love it I don’t want another relationship I don’t want to find love again mostly because I enjoy my life how it is. I do what I want I don’t have to answer to anyone my house is how I want it and my children are happy. It’s a long road and I couldn’t see myself happy ever again but with time you’ll get there I promise xx

Im so sorry your going through a difficult time, your ex sounds like a horrible person!

Im in a similar position albeit my kids are much younger, one a toddler, and one due any day!

I've not quite experienced being completely separated as its only been a few months and ive been pregnant the full time, however my hopes are to join some social clubs once baby is here and im back on my feet to meet some new people. Not even necessarily to meet someone but to make new friends and feel like im starting a new chapter.

Im sure there will be plenty of people along soon who have been through it all and got to the other side. Everyone tells me life is better once your through is, so here's hoping!

Give it time, your new normal is waiting on you x

I’ve been separated for 2.5 years, 2 younger kids than you. I am happy.

I am not bothered about a new relationship yet, but I do have friends and they do give me love and strength.

do you think you could explore that? It removes the idea of no one wanting you because I know my friends love me and I don’t really care if a man does. I also love me too.

@airportfloor I don't really have any friends. I lost most when I fell pregnant with my son in college. I managed to keep one, but she's all the way in Scotland with her family. I've tried talking to mums at the school, but they all know each other and are in their cliques, which is fine. They just never really bothered with me in that way.
I can be a very anxious, introverted person, which I guess doesn't help. I think friendship would of made this abit easier to be honest but at my age it isn't easy to make any friendships xx