I’ve been in a relationship for 13 years, since I was 19. We have 2 kids age 2 and 4.
To be honest it hasn’t been great for a long time, but I feel like I was just trying to fix things and keep going. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with my partner, he looks after us financially, he doesn’t cheat, drink or do anything like that. But he is completely emotionally unavailable and I feel lonely a lot of the time. He doesn’t hug me or kiss me much, I’m an affectionate person so that is difficult. He would rather spend money buying me an expensive gift than do anything thoughtful. He never asks if I’m ok, how my days been or anything like that. We’ve spoke about this many times over the years, I’ve cried a lot, but nothing really comes from it. It’s very hard to explain and I don’t think he’s nasty, just doesn’t have that understanding for the emotional side of a relationship.
I feel like I want to leave but part of me is just holding back. I’m worried it’s a mistake. I’m worried about where I’ll live, and how I’ll even pay for everything by myself. We own a house together, so I guess we’d sell and split that but who knows how long that would take.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for, I’m just feeling lost and scared, maybe hoping to hear from others who have been in a similar situation, or became single parents to young children?
Thank you