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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Break up

7 replies

thisisalot25 · 06/10/2025 12:12

I’ve been in a relationship for 13 years, since I was 19. We have 2 kids age 2 and 4.

To be honest it hasn’t been great for a long time, but I feel like I was just trying to fix things and keep going. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with my partner, he looks after us financially, he doesn’t cheat, drink or do anything like that. But he is completely emotionally unavailable and I feel lonely a lot of the time. He doesn’t hug me or kiss me much, I’m an affectionate person so that is difficult. He would rather spend money buying me an expensive gift than do anything thoughtful. He never asks if I’m ok, how my days been or anything like that. We’ve spoke about this many times over the years, I’ve cried a lot, but nothing really comes from it. It’s very hard to explain and I don’t think he’s nasty, just doesn’t have that understanding for the emotional side of a relationship.

I feel like I want to leave but part of me is just holding back. I’m worried it’s a mistake. I’m worried about where I’ll live, and how I’ll even pay for everything by myself. We own a house together, so I guess we’d sell and split that but who knows how long that would take.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for, I’m just feeling lost and scared, maybe hoping to hear from others who have been in a similar situation, or became single parents to young children?

Thank you

OP posts:
Makingdobadly · 06/10/2025 13:46

Unfortunately I’ve got no advice but you have all of my understanding because I could have written this post, I’m in such a similar situation with everything you describe. I’m thinking about trying couples therapy and seeing if that works! Good luck, I hope you get some good advice!

thisisalot25 · 06/10/2025 15:03

@MakingdobadlyThank you! It really is so hard, I hope your situation gets better x

OP posts:
TLC93 · 07/04/2026 08:30

Hi OP,

How are you? I just wanted to reach out and see if anything has helped. I’m in the exact same position, I’ve been with my partner for 16 years, 2 kids but he is completely emotionally unavailable.

laughingalltheay · 07/04/2026 12:31

ive just come across this thread and am in the same
position, pretty much exactly the same. No advice just a handhold x

TLC93 · 07/04/2026 16:23

It really sucks doesn’t it. He’s a great dad to the children so I don’t want to break that up. I just feel so lonely and unwanted all the time. Hope you’re doing okay.

laughingalltheay · 07/04/2026 17:38

TLC93 · 07/04/2026 16:23

It really sucks doesn’t it. He’s a great dad to the children so I don’t want to break that up. I just feel so lonely and unwanted all the time. Hope you’re doing okay.

Wow I relate to this so much. sometimes I wish he would meet someone else and then I wouldn’t feel bad. Hope you’re doing ok

TLC93 · 07/04/2026 17:57

That’s what I think too. It’s easier if the decision was taken out of our hands.

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