Ohhh, I saw two nice men in Sainsbury’s car park today

[OpalFruitsMakeYourMouthWater]

Feeling a bit down about the fact that all men I see on OLD (which I have given up with) are just not of any interest to me. I don’t find any jump out and make me want to swipe right. I’m 53 btw.

I ended my marriage a few years ago. Dead marriage, sexless for many years and no connection. Really thought I could find someone with passion and chemistry. Failing miserably and feel I have left it too late 😞.

However, this afternoon, I saw two men (in a nearby market town) who I found quite nice. One when I was walking across the car park to the store entrance. He was pushing his empty trolley back and actually asked me if I’d like his trolley 😂. I said no, thank you, and offered to take it back for him. He took it himself. The second was on leaving the store. A man, roughly my age, glanced at me and our eyes held for a millisecond! Again, pretty attractive!!

Maybe I need to go to Sainsbury’s more often 😂. OLD is awful and is definitely not working for me!

Good on you, OP! Those micro-second glances can stay with you for years - you’ll not forget his face, so if you see him again… 🤞
Some Supermarkets used to have specific “singles nights” iirc, perhaps they should be revived 🥰

Lol early 50s also and will never OLD. I have a pretty full on FT wfh job but fantasise about having a PT supermarket job at the W/E to meet eligible older men haha 😅

Ha ha. Now that is a great idea!! Maybe that’s what I should do!

Seriously though, like you, I have a full
on FT job (over 4 days with 50% WFH). I really think OLD is dreadful at our age!! It’s depressing!!

Just for a different perspective, I met my partner OLD and am a similar age to you. He's absolutely my perfect match. Met him on Tinder, we'd both been on about a week. So there are decent men on there if perhaps rather rare maybe?

😍😂

I also met mine in my mid 50s OLD (Tinder too), I'd been on for around a week, him for about a month so there are definitely good ones out there!

Good idea, and if things don't work out at least you can collect some Nectar points at Sainburys.

I’ve been on Tinder for 2 years! Don’t like anyone. Well, not locally anyway. I’m hidden on it and will just delete my account once the subs runs out.

I’m so out of touch, I thought OLD was a dating platform for the over 50s 🤣

No need to delete your account, just don't pay for it. Similar age, on a few sites but only dip in and out. But don't pay because if I don't "like" someone, it doesnt make a difference if I know they "like" me or not!!
But ive joined a few groups that actually meet up. Actually talking to people gives me a bit more hope!!!

I met my ex at a ‘Meet Up’ event but unfortunately post Covid the app has been taken over by a different company and imo they’ve just destroyed it. They changed the fee structure for organisers and put a lot of previously free functions behind pay walls now. The original point of it was to hook up local people to safely meet up with others for nights out, gigs, walks etc but in my area anyway it’s just died a death. I wouldn’t mind paying a nominal sum each month except the new owners have alienated so many of the local organisers so that there’s nothing on anyway. Classic example of trying ti fix something that was never broke in the first place 😐.

I want to remain hidden though. I don’t want anyone I know seeing me on there.

Being very honest as well different people are ok with different things - my friend is happy with a new guy who to her is really attractive - I wouldn’t have looked twice at him and I’m 63 and he’s late 40s - so it’s easy for others to say they have met ‘good ones’ - they may well be - but not ones who would float your boat !

I think this is my problem. A lot don’t rock my boat. Certainly, men on OLD don’t!

Wednesday evenings used to be the time single people mostly shopped.

You could try different supermarkets, just as research you understand. But you can report back.

Had a scroll on Tinder during the night. Usual ones but one caught my eye. Unfortunately, when I scrolled down it said he lived in Singapore 🫠. Oh well! Wednesday at Sainsbury’s it is!!

This is very true you just have to find your match really not somebody who would be perfect for anyone else but you.

Tinder is awful, I was on OLD for two weeks last month after being separated for a year and deciding it was time to do something about it. Tinder was definitely the worst and I've already met someone on bumble and we are exclusively dating. I honestly think you just have to engage with people and drop them quickly if no effort or connection being made. Funnily enough I would never have dreamt of speaking to someone at a supermarket but OLD gave me some confidence back and I wouldn't be too scared of it in future if the need ever arises again.

I'm 53 as wellm I would get off tinder and give Facebook, bumble, hinge a go because you can at least see a bit better who likes you and send comments rather than just blind liking.

My father always used to joke that, should my mother pre-decease him, he would find a new one at Sainsbury's.

I used to have a secret wish that I would meet my soulmate in the middle of a Sainsbury’s aisle! I love Sainsbury’s and thought what a lovely story to tell our future children 😂 sadly I met mine on OLD and we now have two children… but I still live in hope, you never know!

So yes OP, I would absolutely frequent Sainsbury’s more often if I were you 😊

I live in Spain and there's been a recent trend for single people to indicate their availability via their grocery baskets... Perhaps you should try and start a similar trend in the UK?!

https://www.foodandwine.com/mercadona-supermarket-dating-trend-spain-8714161

On a more serious note though I met my DH via OLD just as I was about to give up. I think there are lots of awful people on there but you only need one good one.

Yes, just wade through the crap. Hinge was also OK but as I say I met my lovely man on Tinder. I did pay for a week at Christmas to see who liked me then I waded through them. He stood out straight away tbh.

At least on OLD you know they're looking for a potential partner. I'm too reticent to approach men in the wild tbh.

Hi I’m looking for some insights into this situation which has been really bugging me. I’m 23 and met a guy (25) on Bumble last month while I was in his city for a 3-week stay. We both knew it was short-term: our cities are ~6 hours apart by train and he’s moving to a different count soon, so long-distance isn’t realistic.
We clicked and met up super often like 6–7 times before I went home. Didn't have sex but he clearly wanted to and I usually stopped it before it went that far. After I left, he texted me a lot, updates about his day, pictures, voice notes, insta reels and we even sexted a bit. I loved our conversations a lot and got very used to texting. I definitely reciprocated everything but I’m not the biggest texted so it was him setting the tone and pace of our communication and him keeping up the contact.
About a week after I was back home he suggested we meet in a city halfway between us for a weekend. I agreed and was looking forward to seeing him again but also quite nervous as he was texting a lot about sex and made it clear he wanted to spend a lot of time in bed during the trip. I’ve never had sex and don’t have much experience so I was very nervous about this. It was something I wanted to explore with him though but I was just scared from the anticipation.
On Saturday the vibe was really good. In the afternoon we went back to the hotel and I tried to give him a blowjob which I had never done before so I think it was pretty bad and he also stopped me quite quickly like after just a few minutes. He then went down on me which was amazing. We wanted to have sex after but he couldn’t get hard again and told me this is something that happens to him like half the time because of anxiety. I told him no problem and not to stress. After we went out for the evening to dinner and a show and all seemed fine. When we went to bed it was quite late he tried to initiate again a bit but I said no we should sleep.
The next day was Sunday morning he also asked if I wanted to get back into bed after we showered and I said let’s get breakfast first. Later he felt really tired (he’d just done a marathon the week before and lots of training). He’s a super active/fit guy though so I was also a bit annoyed that he was suddenly acting like he was super tired like couldn’t he just push through it a bit and pretend to have more energy than he did? Maybe that’s insensitive but that’s what I would do on a trip if I wasn’t feeling super well. I didn’t say this and just told him not to force it if he was tired and that we could just go back to the hotel and chill. This is where things started to get a bit weird because he went into the bed and took a nap. I was sitting on the couch in the hotel room and once he woke up I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to join him. I think that he did because he texted me at one point saying he was lonely (ie in the bed alone) which is the same thing he had done the day before prompting me to join him then. I think he feels shy/scared to initiate because he never outright says what he wants like he’s only explicit about this stuff over text.
So I was trying to kind of ask him if I should join him but in a subtle way so I’m not sure if he got the message. In the end I just stayed on the couch it was already 4pm by that point and i had to take the train back that evening so I also didn’t feel like started to get intimate again and maybe building up to sex because I was already a bit stressed about my journey home and as I said have never had sex before so I was quite scared also since he was having problems getting hard the day before I felt like I didn’t want to deal with that again and the awkwardness of that. So even though I did want to at least kiss and cuddle I just stayed in my spot on the couch alone. So all of Sunday we didn’t even kiss. We got dinner before my train back and the vibe was ok maybe slightly off but not too much. We kissed goodbye but it wasn’t a very heartfelt goodbye and we weren’t talking at all about the future and the fact we wouldn’t see each other again which is something we had discussed last time when I left his city.
Since I left he has barely texted me at all. He did tell me about the logistics of his journey back but all other communication has been initiated by me and his tone is much less energetic and he’s sharing nothing on his own and hardly responding to my messages.
I feel stupid to be making such a big deal about this given we have barely known each other for more than a few weeks and there’s no way it could have worked out anyway since he’s moving so far away (14hr flight) but I really really like him and especially seeing him the second time I feel like I’m crushing on him so hard. I knew we wouldn’t have a relationship but thought we’d at least keep texting and then slowly the contact would fade as time went on and we got busy. But the about change in communication has really upset me and left me wondering what I did wrong over the weekend. I feel really rejected and like I messed up big time especially with the sex stuff. I’m worried he felt led on because he travelled further than me to meet up as I took a 3hr train and he flew. The first flight required him to wake up at 3am and his flight back was also delayed so he had to wait quite a bit at the airport. He did a lot of effort to come see me so I’m super worried I really let him down with the bad blowjob and not having sex or doing much of anything on the Sunday. Also because a relationship isn’t feasible I don’t really think it makes much sense to bring this up to him either and get his perspective since there’s no point making an issue out of it. But I’ve been feeling really bad and sad about this all week wondering what did I do wrong?

I think you’re right about Tinder - it’s awful!

OP, I'm the same age as you and don't dont do any dating apps either, as that was just horrendous.

You need to get yourself off to a B&Q or similar 😂 I have a business card from an electrician. I admit I was a bit out of my depth last week looking for what I needed. A very helpful chap, showed me what it was I needed, even compared prices for the best deal, and then offered to come and fit it. 😂

I cracked a joke and asked him does he get a lot of business this way, he sheepishly replied that he doesn't hand out his cards routinely.

I didn't call him and I managed to fit it myself, but if Sainsburys is now your Wednesday scout out try Fridays at a hardware shop 😂