Starting to lose hope

[CandyRuby]

How do you come to terms with the fact you may never meet anyone or have a happy ending? Everyone around me is in relationships, having babies, getting married and then there’s me. I’m starting to lose hope and think that I may not find someone now. Please don’t comment if you are happy alone I was for the first 5 years after I split from ex but life (imo) is better shared with a partner. People tell me to make friends but that’s not a substitute for a partner, besides I have friends and they are all in relationships. Has anyone felt this way then gone on to meet someone a get their happy ending?

Even meeting and marrying the love of your life doesn't guarantee a 'happy ending', though I totally understand why you (and most of us) are so focussed on meeting Mr/Ms Right. I wonder how old you are? If you're young (under 45, say; I'm late 50s) I think the feeling that having a partner will give your life meaning and solve most of your problems is more understandable.

If I sound smug please be assured that, if I were single, the first thing I'd probably do would be to find myself a partner!

How old are you OP? I could have written your post in my mid 30s. I did find him and had DC.

How old are you? I thought I would never meet anyone. I then met my now husband at 39. Unfortunately we met too late to be able to have children (tried from 40 including many rounds of IVF which failed in one way or another) but I still think I have had a happy ending even if it isn’t exactly what I originally pictured when I was young. (And now I’m mid 40s a lot of my friends who had their happy ending younger are now getting divorced so 🤷‍♀️). So really no one can predict the future so no one really knows who will get a happy ending in the long run. One example, my friend met her husband and got married and had kids mid 20s. She spent the first few years being incredibly smug and telling us all how we needed to hurry up because we were getting old and no one would want us. She’s now divorced and struggled hugely as a single parent to 2 kids for years. Her youngest has severe autism and will never leave home unless it’s to a residential place. Ex ran off and has never paid anything and never had the kids. She’s so unhappy and is permanently exhausted and skint. And it’s unlikely to get better. But she loves her kids and is still glad she has them. I missed my chance to have children which is still upsetting to me. I spent a couple of years devastated. But. I can’t change it. And I have a good life now. My husband and I go away a lot. We’re aiming for an early retirement. Out of my friend and I, which of us has the happy ending? In reality, neither of us does. Neither of us have what we originally thought would be a happy ending. But we make the most of what we have.

I’m 36. I have children and don’t want anymore.

I think at 36 you shouldn't be resigned to the fact that this is it.
You likely aren't even half way through your life yet. If you already have children and aren't with their father then you know that relationships don't always last. Everyone who is in one, has no guarantee, they just hope.
And that's all you can do. You put yourself out there in moments that you feel comfortable doing so, enjoy what you can and you hope, you hope that this isn't it.

For note, I'm 40 next year, single 3 years, kids, my marriage was unsatisfying and I don't believe I have ever felt true love. I would love a partner, I don't need one as I am fully capable alone, but I want one. For me they give something that all the friendships in the world can't provide.
But I can't know if that will ever happen to me I may be destined to never find it, but I still hope that it's out there.

I have had a couple of relationships between the ages of 45 to 51. I used to like being single. I have now started to.feel.like I don't want to be single anymore, but don't want someone with me 24/7. Feel like this when im unwell 😫

Having children makes it harder to meet someone

I think if you are adamant you will never meet someone, then you won't.
People don't tend to be drawn to someone who has already given up.
Yes, it's hard when you have kids, but I know plenty who have so it doesn't mean you won't.
You are so young to be thinking in such finite terms. You might benefit from understanding why this is, likely linked to self worth, and you could find that it makes a massive difference looking into what has led you to feel this way.
The key is finding a way to not be stuck in this dark place where you alone. You need to find where you can see light and follow it.

I’ve been single for a decade so hard to not lose hope

Don’t lose hope. I was in same position for 15 years. Out of the blue, totally unexpected, I met the best man I have ever known. It happens.