Dating a "high-functioning" narcissist?

[TheNavyLurker]

Matched with a woman on dating app. I started to fall in love quickly - she was charming, fun and intelligent, we discovered a lot in common. On 2nd date we've talked about deal-breakers and she admitted she loves attention, telling it's like drug for her. She warned she can expect more than I would probably expect and told me she's a high-functioning narcissist. I don't understand what high-functioning means, should I run or can it work out?

Walk away now before you are discarded and or devalued There are emotionally healthier people you can date.

Oh dear

Run for the hills, OP - whatever you give her in terms of attention will never be enough.

Run

I mean, she's likely not that high functioning if she happily announces red flag info to you on a second date.

And if you're falling in love with someone on a second date, that's not super healthy either.

Sounds like one best avoided.

She's literally waving a red flag in your face! Move along swiftly! This won't end well.

hahahaha. No, this sounds awful.

I mean, I guess if someone told me that they've realised they're a narcissist and they're seeking therapy I MIGHT be willing. But probably not. Becuase the base problem with a narcissist is that they have zero ability or desire to take accountability or responsibility for ANYTHING.

Run a mile I'd say.

Get away from her as fast as you can and never look back.

There are 2 possible scenario's

1. She really is a high functioning narcissist. Which means she will suck the life out of you, tank your self esteem (not instantly but with tiny sharp remarks throughout the years) and break you emotionally. The term high-functioning refers to the fact that despite that she is completely incapable of engaging in reciprocating, loving relationships, she is intelligent enough to make you believe that it's your fault and it's because of your wrong-doing that she's treating you poorly. It basically means she's a terrible person but she hides it well.
2. She isn't a high functioning narcissist, but she's diagnosed herself as such because she craves the attention that comes with it. In which case I'd feel comfortable diagnosing her with several other potential psychiatric conditions or personality disorders. The end result is the same. You do not want to be near her.

Anyone declaring themselves a narcissist is probably not, but it’s still a red flag and I would be gone. Sounds like she’s just setting it up to behave badly and then tell you she warned you and she can’t help her behaviour.

Run and count yourself lucky you found out now, rather than much later when you are much further involved with each other.

Thank you everyone! I'll walk away. I texted her and she explained she's looking for someone who showers her with attention and she gives something back in return to keep that person around. I feel she views relationships in transactional way.

It’s almost as though she was willing you to end it before it had even started because she didn’t have the guts to

Run for the hills. She will ruin your life. My DH ex wife has narcissistic tendencies, there is more to it than simply attention seeking.

They lie, fabricate stories, think they are unique, gaslight, are bitterly jealous and covertly insecure, hold grudges that last a life time... the list goes on.

This article sums it up perfectly.

Why Do Narcissists Lie? Signs & Psychology Explained | Neurish Wellness

I don't know who's worse, one admitting narcissism and one even thinking of the 'L' word on a second date. Run away from her... straight to some good therapy.

Indeed
i feel like both the Op and this woman should have warning signs hanging around their necks

I think it was good of her to warn you and I wonder how many people would have ignored that warning. I'm really glad you didn't!

Thanks for help! I sometimes let feelings overwhelm me, she looked way too perfect. I guess she doesn't think being a narcissist is something bad.

It’s not a thing. She just sounds unhinged. Delete and block because she’s nuts.