This isn’t really AIBU but Am I Being Crazy/Irrational…
Please be gentle if you can - I am so confused right now.
I am currently going through a lot of stress, in particular waiting on the outcome of some tests to see whether I have cancer or not. I don’t know if the stress and anxiety I am feeling is causing me to misjudge a situation and would appreciate any opinions.
I think I have a massive crush on someone. But do I?
He comes into my work but isn’t employed by us. I don’t work directly with him but occasionally he will assist with something I am doing. Then I might not see him for ages as he’s elsewhere in the building doing something else with another team.
However, these last couple of months things seem slightly different. But here’s where I might be reading things wrong. I have seen him on all occasions he has been in - sometimes legitimately, other times he has been to see me to check if ‘x’ is still ok or ‘y’ is still functional. But then we end up digressing into all sorts of subjects. Like we know we each own our own houses, approximately where we live (near each other but no where near work) and random other stuff like hobbies and even why we both like certain things, etc. We can both be flexible when we take our breaks so I need to stress this time is usually around lunch and therefore our own time.
He is so very easy to talk to and we laugh a lot. I have found myself these last couple of months really looking forward to seeing him. He is 8 years younger than me though but it really doesn’t feel like it (I’m mid/late 40s).
My dating history is a disaster. Two serious relationships in which I was cheated on in both. I tried online dating and was lied to by potential matches and gave that up fairly quickly. I find it really hard to trust people and don’t fall for anyone easily.
I am so confused. I genuinely don’t know if he is just being a nice guy and it’s all in my head. I wonder if I am seeking some sort of comfort because of this time of horrible stress, and he is who my brain has latched onto. I have had all sorts of weird dreams and honestly, if he asked me for a drink I would say yes in a heartbeat. But is this all in my head and am I just crazy?
Please, please be gentle.