As a child a visited my grandparents
weekly with my parents. I recall one time I needed the toilet, so asked if I could go before going upstairs to use it. It was extremely small, you had to tuck right up against the side of the toilet to close the door which I didn't like. So, I left the door open as everyone was downstairs anyway. Once finished I had just stepped out onto the landing doing my clothes up, when I noticed my grandfather at the bottom of the stairs. He shouted up what are you doing and I was told very sternly to come straight down, followed by my mother voice calling me. I thought it was odd at the time, so I told him I'm doing my trousers up and went straight down. I didn't think anything more of it.
Then my parents stopped taking us to visit. I asked why, and my mother just told me they treated us different to my cousin and wasn't happy about it.
I remember some time past and my grandfather coming down to our house upset. I was told to go upstairs out the way.
They wanted to take me to a pantomime. I liked spending time with them so was happy to go. I remember my grandad had a trophy for me and my grandmother insisted on buying me a ring, even though I repeatedly told her I didn't want one. She kept on and bought it anyway. I was confused but thanked them both. I showed my parents when I got home.
After this, they never took us to see them again.
My grandad died and I believe my grandmother has too.
Then last year my mother mentioned to me that we had stopped going to see them because they had accused me of stealing a ring from one of their bedrooms. I had never ever stepped foot in their bedrooms, doors were always closed and certainly never stolen anything. Apparently they found the ring on the floor under something a few weeks later. Clearly they made a mistake.
Since finding this out I feel really upset, as I'm aware now that they were evacuated to the UK as children during the war. They were sent from their families without knowing what had happened to them, and then to think they probably felt abandoned by us too because they made a terrible mistake.
I know it was not my fault, but I just feel so much guilt and pain over this and it hurts even more not being unable to tell them it's okay, I forgive them.