OLD, how many is too many?

[52isjustanumber]

I divorced in 2021 after 30 years. I plucked up courage to try OLD.
I had two short relationships, 4 and 3 months in 2022/3, then a year long in 2024, waited 8mths and have had a 2 month relationship this summer. He dumped me.
Have been seeing another man for 6 weeks, we have slept together but when he found out how many men I had seen since my divorce he dumped me last night. He was pressing me for a number.
He says that I have low self respect.
He is divorcing after 33 years. Had a two year affair 12 years ago. Has had two short term relationships since splitting up 20 months ago.
He was pretty nasty in what he said and as we had unprotected sex....yes I know!! that I have put him at risk. I have booked a STI check. He said he was not a risk as he knows his sexual history.
He also said earlier that he leaves quickly when he is not happy with something...red flag I guess.
Am feeling pretty stupid over the sex, and also pretty stupid at my age. Also very bruised and tearful.
Have learnt my lesson re the sex so please no lectures re condoms etc

Everything in the first paragraph is him describing himself but placing all that blame onto you:
● clearly it was him wanting to chalk up the numbers - he snagged you vigorously 3 times in one night and caused you an STI
● he deceived you (with his intentions) etc

He probably only dated you for 5-6 weeks for a bit of fun and to see how long it would take for him to get a shag. **

** When he achieved that goal, he then turned on you and said you had low standards and low self esteem.

If you follow the advice of "The Rules" or "How to Think Like A Man But Act Like a Lady" ..... the advice is for women to make the man wait 3 months (90 days) before sex.

I know that's hard - a very long time. Which is why men who are "not the one" who are not serious about you and wanting to know you properly won't hang around that long.

I have not tried out this 90 day rule myself but will try to do so next time I am dating.

type - post above should say "caused you a UTI"

He wanted to plan a weekend away but then we cancelled as he said he needed money to pay the solicitor this month. He was very keen to book it but I held back. I also said I was a bit short this month.
He wanted to take it slow but then wanted to see me a lot. I have other commitments so kept those in place.
To be fair, it was me who invited him to have sex but he was hinting at it. I need to slow down in that debt!

He sounds a right wanker. Please use a condom next time though, it's so risky not to.

A secure man who wants a healthy, equal relationship with a woman will not give a fig how many men she has slept with in the past.

My partner wouldn’t have dreamt of asking, and I’d have been put off if he did. Of course you should discuss testing before unprotected sex, discuss what you like in bed, etc. But other men should not be part of the discussion.

I’m sorry he’s made you feel so bad. Onwards and upwards!