Would I be in the wrong if I listened

[mumoftwoboys321]

the 18 year love of my life turned out to be a real piece of crap taking a long time to process and put it behind me. Thankfully have let a friend in on everything that has happened and why what I and everyone else thought was the perfect relationship ended, felt like a very small weight being lifted speaking to her and she’s been fantastic but she thinks I should tell the husband about what happened and it keeps playing on my mind.
I don’t know if their affair ever ended and they clearly deserve each other as he finally admitted to a lot when he took his stuff but wouldn’t it be wrong to drop that bombshell several months down the line any advice on this would be hugely appreciated as I’m seeing my friend this weekend and know very well this is going to be the topic she sticks on as all I get is wouldn’t I want to know the truth starting to wish I hadn’t let her know and her and on here is the only place I have to turn

OP i remember your previous posts. Hope you are doing well.

Yes I think he has a right to know but I wouldn’t go in guns blazing. A quick message to let him know your relationship has broken down because of an affair between your H and his wife. Tell him if he wants anymore details to get in touch.

Do you think the affair has continued? What has your ex admitted to? Has he moved out?

I’m getting there rather slowly but he shattered my entire world which just makes me feel more pathetic.
he admitted to it going on over 6 months but says it started as friends first said he met her three times they had a hotel room on the 3rd meet up but swears blind he never slept with her I’m convinced he did so doesn’t matter either way said he thought he was in love with her but realised it was infatuated with her as he loves me and wishes he could turn back the clock claims it made him feel wanted and loved which is why it went on so long. No idea if it’s still going on or if there’s any communication between them as don’t see him very often and none of my business i know there had been some messaging between them in August as there was a family wedding and his phone was on the table and I saw her picture come up but under a man’s name

the husband messaged me this morning. She had told him my issue was her messaging him as friends have a feeling my moving forward is not going to be as straight forward

If it was me OP I would stay well out of it and let them sort it out.
It sounds to me as though you've been through enough and getting embroiled in their drama is something you could well do without.

I'd concentrate on you and making your life what you deserve now.
Tell your friend that. If she's a good friend, she'll understand and drop it.

@mumoftwoboys321 I imagine he’s been feeling something is off and she has been gaslighting him, telling him they are just friends. You know this isn’t true as your ex has admitted it.

I would not be able to stay quiet or lie when he likely will be questioning his own feelings on this. You lying only benefits her. He’s contacted you so you are within your rights to tell him the truth. Tell him that your relationship has broken down because of their affair which included sexual contact and your husband has admitted this. I would reiterate you don’t want to get involved in their relationship as you have enough going on in your own life but if he wants more details you are willing to disclose them if it that’s what he wants. Then leave it and see what happens.

Thank you have definitely had my fair share of heartbreak this year and will be glad to see the back of 25. Think what astounds me the most is the cheating lying scums are trying to blame me rather than take account for their actions.
I really hope if I ever find the strength to put my trust into another man there are still decent honest loyal ones out there.