how to tell step sister to go to hell

[AuntieMeemz]

Stepsister has lived with my stepfather, abroad for 20+ years. She hasn't worked for even longer. She has lived off stepfather even before she moved out to live with him.
Stepfather has become ill and step sister is demanding i go over there and 'step up, even for a few days'. Mainly based on the fact that step father helped bring me up, and iv'e been keeping him company by email for several years, and i'd be selfish and ruthless if i don't go. .

The journey would entail an hour long drive to get to the house, which scares me as step sister has a drink problem,and is probably an alcoholic.

I'm the kind of person that always would help others, and often get pushed into things i don't want. I really feel that none of them has done anything for me, and if anything good is to be had, i would absolutely be last in the line! However, I really cannot think of a kind way to say 'no'. Would appreciate some ideas.

Only you know whether your relationship with your step father is deep enough for you to take any responsibility for his care.

If it's not, that's that.

She doesn't have the right to dictate the relationship you have with him. Only you and he can do that.

It sucks that she's having to provide so much care, but that's sadly life, and not your problem. She is just lashing out.

He didn’t help bring her up out of kindness, he had to as she came as a package with her mother. And he did so begrudgingly from the sounds of things. Going by the average blended family set up, I’m sure his kids probably benefitted more from her mum than she did from him. She doesn’t have to be eternally grateful and indebted to him just because he married her mum god knows how many years ago.

Danioyellow - You have very accurately summed up the situation, far better than i have. You are exactly right on every point.