Long post ahead — looking for some advice.
My mom is 66, and over the past year she’s completely changed. It started back in February when she began feeling “ill.” Since then, she’s had countless tests and scans, but everything has come back clear. Still, she complains every day — chest pain, headaches, or some other ache.
We had a holiday to Turkey planned in May, but she pulled out because she wasn’t feeling well. I ended up going alone. I’m 25, and the last of my siblings still living at home — everyone else has their own families and houses. That means I’m the one who ends up dealing with this day to day.
She often says she’s lonely or bored and has no one to go out with, my sister takes her shopping every week and she sometimes goes by herself too. I work in the NHS, in a really stressful job with shifts, so on my days off I just want to rest and recharge. I feel guilty for not taking her out more, but honestly, I don’t have the energy right now.
The contrast with my dad is huge — he’s the same age but still so active, cycling with his brothers several times a week and hardly ever unwell. My mom, meanwhile, seems to have completely given up on life. She often says how boring everything is, rarely showers, doesn’t buy herself new clothes, doesn’t get her hair done — it’s like she’s lost all motivation.
I’m in tears writing this because I don’t know what to do and it’s taking a big toll on my mental health seeing her like this. Part of me wants to move out for my own sanity, but I worry that would make things worse for her. I love my mom deeply — she’s always been amazing to me — but I feel stuck.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice would mean a lot. Thank you.