Gonna start from the beginning,
we got together in 2020 and the first year of the relationship we argued and was on and off. started living together in 2022 , had our first child in 2023. All was good. We moved house and had our second born which was very much planned for. During my pregnancy he didn’t want to touch me or do anything sexual which made me feel unwanted. I had a c section and he made comments about my scar and my weight as I didn’t ’snap Back’, He’s now been doing night work for 3 months , we sleep in separate rooms as he says he doesn’t want to disturb me when he comes home. We have no intimacy, we don’t kiss or touch, we haven’t had sex since our second born was conceived , I have tried and he physically pushes me off and says an excuse , he doesn’t try it with me or flirt. He doesn’t compliment me . He does night work snd sleeps in the day, he does his own food shop and cooks his own meals as he’s on a protein diet and I do mine and the kids shopping and meals separately so we don’t even eat together at meal times, I am a solo parent doing everything. Yes he pays the bills but that’s about it. If our toddler wakes him up, he’s so moody and can be mean. We haven’t had a child free date since 2022 . We talk about the kids or his work and share a little laughter but I want so much more…
we both come from separated parents and we always said how that will never happen to us.
but I feel sad. I live the same day over and over again as a stay at home mum to a 4 month old and a toddler. I cook clean and take care of them, I have to ask to go out as he’s either at work or sleeping but I need him to watch the kids sometimes. he doesn’t help out unless I nag. I’m such a positive person and he’s just moody everyday and he’s actually draining my spirit. I use to crave that wanted feeling, the loving feeling, and I think to myself what really is going to change if we did end it? I do it all by myself and still go to bed alone so 🤷🏻♀️ it’s been so long since we felt connected that if he left tomorrow I’m not sure I’d be upset, because it feels like he checked out a long time ago.
do you think he’ll change? I’ve told him I feel lonely and he just shrugs, he actually told me yesterday that this is the ideal relationship to be in ( he works and sleeps and I do the rest) and I couldn’t disagree enough. Yes he has to work but surely he can come home and still want me. Maybe I’m the problem, I’ve gained a little weight from the pregnancy and maybe he just doesn’t fancy me anymore or maybe he’s not in love with me I’m not sure, he doesn’t say it. I have my hands full with 2 kids but I also have the time and space for him if he’d let me in. Just feels weird and sad and lonely.