Old fling invited to a wedding I am going to with my long term partner

[Anxiousgirl9619]

I had a few dates with this guy in my early 20s (22) and slept with him once. I met one of his friends at that time. Follow on 7 years later at 29 years old and been with my partner now 5 years.

He is also friends with this guy who I met 7 years ago very briefly. I don't know if the guy remembers me but I remember him. I don't think he's mentioned it to my partner about the previous (very short few dates) friend I was hanging out with. But the dilemma now is that this mutual friend is getting married and we are invited to the wedding... Presumably so is this guy I used to hang out with as I've heard my partner mention their name once or twice that they ran into them on a night out with the guy getting married etc.

In my head I'm really worried my partner will feel upset because he kind of knows this guy through the guy getting married but isn't friends with him or close in any way.
I never brought up the guy because it was a really brief hang out that didn't amount to anything and was just after I came out of uni well before I met him (3 years before we met).

Any advice on how to handle it on the day if we end up getting sat at the same table or something. I know he's had a long term partner for a while so don't think there will be any odd behaviour, I'm just over thinking it and thinking the worst. I'm really dreading it but don't see the point bringing it up with my partner as I don't see any good in bringing up past relationships that didn't mean anything.

You are completely overthinking it. I doubt he’s giving it a second thought. If you are at the table, or even if not just ask him how things are going, introduce your partner etc. That’s it.

Why not just be transparent with your partner about it?

Just tell your partner that someone you once dated for a very short while will be at the wedding.

I invited two of my exes and one of DHs Exes to our wedding. No one gave a fuck!

So what?

What kind of world do you live in where grown adults have no history or life experience?

There is nothing in what you’ve posted that is the least bit problematic, @Anxiousgirl9619 unless you are from a community, or with a man, that expects women of nearly 30 to be virgins who have never had a relationship at all?

DH’s ex fiancée and two of my exes were at our own wedding. Everybody behaved impeccably. I’m sure it’ll be fine- it was years ago.

Just gloss over it. If it comes up say "I think we did go for a drink once or twice" and then change the subject. I think it's very unlikely to be mentioned. If your DP does end up asking you directly, tell the truth, but so what? It was once, ages before you met him. Full stop!

You're making a castle out if a grain of sand. He probably doesn't give a toss. I wouldn't even mention it to my partner because this was really a non thing not worth mentioning. If you see him at the wedding just act nice, normal and say "hi, how are you? Nice to see you" then move on. You'll probably be busy chatting up old friends anyway.

@toiletpaperthief has nailed it. There’s nothing here to be concerned about. This guy is ancient history. There’s no overlap. Total non-issue.

I don’t really think you have a dilemma tbh. Unless you have a particularly insecure, jealous and controlling partner, in which case you might have a different problem, but that would exist with or without the possibility of the ex going to the wedding.

OP, the level of anxiety you're having over this, really isn't normal.
Is there a problem with jealousy or insecurity between you and your partner? Do you have a reason to suspect that this might lead to a huge issue?
I can't imagine freaking out over having to tell my long-term-partner about someone I used to date.

Goodness you’re proper over thinking this, did he mean a lot to you or something, even though it was brief? I’m not sure he will even remember to be honest.

@TheRealGoose no not at all it was very brief, I just worry about little things and wanted some advice

I have OCD so once I have a thought I can be hard to shake, that's why I ask for advice to see if I'm just worrying over nothing. I have a wonderful relationship with my partner