Husband won’t get out of kitchen!

[SugarSpice2020]

Any other women who have husbands who insist on ‘clearing up’ meals - inadequately do you have to repeat anyway ;) - but who won’t take the hint to leave kitchen when asked?! Politely at first, then with increasing irritation so then THEY get angry with you! perfect case in point just now after dinner - appreciate he’d helped but when I came in it was time for him to LEAVE. I said ‘I’ll take over now, thx’ but he kept wiping (though loads of things were still on table so clearly not cleaning properly). Putting stuff away that wasn’t fully clean etc etc.
Me, more emphatically - ‘please leave kitchen, go & relax, I’ll take care of rest” only for him to stomp off angrily. URGH so tired of this infantile reaction.
anyway - anyone else feel the same? Feels gd to vent at least!

Why should your husband have to leave his own kitchen on your orders? How would you feel if he commanded you to go elsewhere?

Maybe learn to accept help, and the two of you can come to some accommodation about how to clear and clean effectively to the satisfaction of both?

If he’s being infantile, perhaps it’s time to stop mothering him?

My husband likes cooking and to be fair to him, he is very good at it, we eat well in our house thanks mainly to him!

But I like cooking too, and he will come sniffing around when I'm doing it, and start his 'helping' by stirring a pan, or lining up ingredients for me.

Before I know it he's taken over and I either yell at him to scram, or I resign myself to it and go off and do something else.

It's my only real gripe. Oh no it's not, he does have a tendency to mansplain things though he does recognise it and apologise! And he snores (why else would I be here at 5am?!)

Just leave him to it OP - say "well, there's no point both of us doing this" and let him finish clearing up while you go and put your feet up!

Presumably it's his kitchen as well as yours?

And then there is ALL the threads about men not doing enough house stuff!! MN is never satisfied!

I feel a bit sorry for your husband.

I tell dh not to interfere when I’m cooking but I’d be thrilled if he wanted to help clean up! Saying that he does have a habit of coming in to make his pack up while I’m cleaning and he creates more mess/gets in the way while I’m trying to get cleaned so I can sit down . So I kind of get where you’re coming from.

Why do you need to take over? Just leave him to it and crack on with what you’re doing?

DH is the same - he takes forever to do a pretty poor job of cleaning (compared to my ‘standards’) but it’s done so I just watch a series / catch up on work /
spend time with kids and leave him to do it!

So when you've approached him in the past about putting things away that aren't clean, what did he say?

Have I woken up in the 1950s?

YABU to tell him he can’t clean his kitchen because it’s not up to your standard.

You sound passive aggressive.

Ha so annoying!! But it seems you’re good at tolerating it; if it’s the only gripe I guess it’s manageable ;). How do you stand the snoring though?? (I sleep a lot in other room but it doesn’t go down well..).

Depends what mood he’s in ;). I think this post is mostly coming from fact that despite trying to bring this type of issue up calmly & politely, it continues.

Oh jeez another depressing thread which normalises every ‘perfect housewife’ stereotype. Have we not fucking got into the 21st century yet where all grown adults can do domestic work and it’s not just left to those born with a vagina?

I hope there are no children or young people in that house being brought up with regressive role models that belong in some museum.