Conversation about multiple dating

[NopeNotFluffy]

How have others broached the conversation about whether you are dating other people early in a potential match?

Am meeting for a first date tomorrow, met via Fab. I have been clear on my profile that I’m interested in regular dating for a long term relationship and that I am on normal dating app for that but that short term connections are fun in the meantime. (I’ve also been clear on the regular dating app that short term is fun whilst finding the right long term person so I’m being honest)

He has said that he’s also after a longer term regular relationship.

I’m happy to leave any conversation about exclusivity until I know that I’d like it to be exclusive- but does the Fab element make it any different here do you think?

Only issue is men are just likely to agree with whatever you’re looking for just to get laid, ok for short term, I’d take it as a pinch of salt they want long term especially on fab, it’s just not the place for someone lurking for long term relationships.

No. It’s not the business of random matches. There’s no need to tell them.

I’m not saying you do this, but it only crosses the line imo if someone sleeps unprotected with multiple people. Which is grim.

Given FAB is known as a hookup app than yes it does/ would change the way I’d view it.

High chance he’d like a long term relationship but also have / be able to have additional sex with other people outside of that.

It’s clear though that I’m looking for a long term relationship via other platforms, not via Fab - and the guys I have met on there I’ve been clear that I’m not in it for traditional dating and it’s worked fine. I didn’t want to match with someone on Bumble and for them to also to be on Fab and for them to think that I was being disingenuous somehow- hence my profile mentions it.

Hey OP , I was on Fab before for hook ups , I was lucky & met with nice men for nights out , good company, dinner & drinks & obviously fun 😊 , but make no mistake about it , you will NOT meet a guy for a LTR on fab , I don’t care what they tell you ..

If you meet with a guy on dating App & decide to go on a date , I wouldn’t be letting him know anything about having a profile on Fab , if date goes well then & you & he would like to pursue things , just delete your fab profile, that’s what i would do If it were me …

How would they know it’s you on Fab ?
You surely do not have a face pic up & I’m sure your username is not your real name ??

I really don't think you should be thinking about expecting exclusivity with someone you're meeting through a swingers site. Even if you hit it off and it goes further than a regular shag, What's the chances he'll want to give up his swinging/casual lifestyle for a woman he's met through a swingers site? At best he'll be wanting you as his swinging partner, so you can meet up with others as a couple.

You are all expecting that it’s me wanting exclusivity…it’s not, I don’t

I am expecting him to bring it up because of a couple of other things he’s said but I don’t know how to handle that conversation when it comes up because I’ve never had it before

My Fab profile says I’m there for fun whilst searching for Mr Right elsewhere, my bumble profile includes “intimacy without commitment” as something I’m interested in.

No course I havent got my picture or real name on my Fab profile 😂

But I have swapped face pics with people on Fab that I’ve been chatting with before meeting up 🤷‍♀️

Im in a big period of growth in relationship terms and im learning lots. One thing I have learned is that I need to practice not getting emotionally involved and fab seemed like a good place to do it 🤷‍♀️

OP, this all sounds a bit confused!

Maybe I worded my first post poorly. I’ll have another go :)

I have met someone through a hook up site but he is looking for a long term relationship. I’m open to this but not looking for it via the site we connected on.

I think he will bring the topic of regular dating up, but I don’t know what I need to consider if he does because it raises issues that I hadn’t expected to address via that site- because it’s a hook up site does the conversation seem like it should be different from if we’d met via a regular dating app?

I don’t think you should overly worry about it then. There’s a very high chance you’ll both be on the same page and wanting similar things.

If you’re both potentially looking for a long term relationship with the right person just meet him and see how it goes? Does it matter how you met him? If one of you wants more than the other then it will clearly not work.

Yes I think you’re right GB. I’ve been single for a while and the last time I started a normal relationship dating wasn’t even a thing, so I feel like I’m walking through this new world blind and am appreciating guidance I get on here from people who have more experience.

I felt really silly for even posting when I came back and read the thread.

No such thing as a silly question @NopeNotFluffy! Just relax and enjoy the date. Good luck!

I did. Met him on Fab over six years ago. We've been exclusively together ever since.

OP I had a profile on one of the conventional dating sites, and another on Fab. I didn't tell anybody I met on one site about the other site.

@BatshitCrazyWoman I love this :) Brilliant for you.

It’s not like I think Fab will be where I will find my person- but if I am on there for hook ups whilst also looking for him elsewhere, it follows that there will be others the same.

It was totally unexpected! And he wasn't looking for a LTR really. But was obviously swept away by my awesomeness 🤣

I met DH on Fab!
I think the fact there was no pressure on anything from the start meant it happened naturally. We were both far more open about everything than men tend to be on dating sites.

Oh that’s cool 🙌 …
Just it doesn’t happen very often either sure it doesn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️..
And then you can meet a guy & all they’re interested in is going on Fab with you as a couple , cause it’s way harder for the single men on Fab then it is for women …

Well OBVS :)