Okay, so this is gonna be a bit of a long post so I do apologise. But please bear with me. I am quite confused and need some help/advice.
I have a male friend that I worked with about 20 years ago. He is 49 and I'm 41. We hadn't seen each other since working together and bumped into each other again 3 years ago. We weren't hanging out after that, we'd just see each other in the street and say hi, how are you?
5 weeks ago we saw each other while I was getting a drink to relax with on the Friday night. I asked him if he fancied coming to mine for a drink and we had a great catch up but I thought that would be it until I'd see him in passing.
To my surprise for the last 4 weeks we have seen each other quite a lot. He comes round and we watch films and relax, but I sit on the sofa and he sits on the chair.
We talk A LOT, about when we worked together, about our younger years growing up and about my son and his children. We've spoken about going for food or a drink but haven't got around to it yet.
I would say that I cook fairly easy meals. When I told him this after he asked me, he said he will come round and show me how to cook a creative meal, but he will show me what to do while I do the cooking! I absolutely love the idea of him talking me through how to cook it instead of just cooking it for me. It'll be something nice to do together.
We text almost every day, even if it's just once a day.
What got me thinking the most was when he asked me the other day what I was doing for Christmas!! I said I'd be seeing my son for a few hours and then relaxing with cheesy movies and junk food. He asked if it would be okay to come round after my son had been. He usually goes to his mom's for Christmas, but she will be back home with family in Jamaica. Of course I said yes to him coming around!
I can't really work out whether he is interested in me in a romantic kind of way or whether he is just a good friend.
I don't pick up on any signs like flirting. We always sit separately when he comes over. There is zero physical contact between us. We have hugged once in 5 weeks, but that's it.
As we have spoken a lot over the last few weeks and he has told me that he doesn't just jump into bed with someone, it has to mean something. But I am exactly the same. Could it be that he wants to get to know me better on an emotional level before starting to be intimate, or it's it because he only wants to be friends?
You might be wondering why I'm even asking this question if there are hardly signs that he is interested in starting to date. But I would just like to know what you think.
One reason that I don't think he's interested in me in a romantic kind of way is because he calls me mate nearly all of the time. He only ever calls me babe when we're texting.
I might sound silly asking
you if he sees me more than just a friend, but I genuinely don't know. I haven't been in a relationship for over 3 years and I haven't been sexually active
for 2 and a half years, so I'm not great at picking up the signs.
I hope someone can help me with this situation and give me any advice.
Thank you xxx 💖