What am I to make of this…..

[Whatamitomakeofthis]

Baby, I bring up finances because for a woman like me, sometimes it feels easier to be single than to have a fiancé who doesn’t invest in me or in our relationship. When I’m single, I can accept invitations, dinners, flowers, and outings — I don’t need to worry about paying because people invite me. But as your fiancée, I say no to all of that out of respect for you, and that means my costs here in Spain are higher.

I don’t think you really see that, and it makes me feel a little unseen. What I truly miss are your little details, those gestures that made me feel important and cared for.

And even with all this, I still choose you, because my love for you is real. That’s why I need to feel your love shown in actions too.

What do you want to do with it?
It reads to me that your fiancé is telling you they want more tangible action from you that would make them feel wanted, including it seems, for you to pay more often for things.
I wonder how you feel about that.

Well if I tell you I have spent $60k in the past 9months and it’s not enough? Really

She's telling you that her love language is people paying for stuff for her!

That when single she goes on so many paid for dates that it significantly decreases - what - her grocery bill? And now she has to pay for her own flowers too! (The hardship!)

Sorry, I am being mean - she comes across as highly materialistic here, and personally I wouldn't walk away I would run. But it depends what you want, and how you feel relationships should be.

I do feel there is a quite an arrogance to it though - look at how hot I am and how many dates I can get, you really need to work that wallet hard to keep me.....

When she says 'here in Spain" - are you in different countries? How well do you know your fiance?

Please don't just send her money if she isn't someone you know really well. (Personally I would say don't send it at all, but if it's a genuine relationship you should do as your heart dictates).

Cross posts. This worries me. When you say spent it, is this on trips/nights out WITH her? Gifts for her? Or do you just send cash?

Anyway, she sounds bloody awful to me. Why would you want to marry someone like this?

Tell her to earn her own bloody money!

She has spent 6months over here with me , we have taken holidays to Australia, Greece,Japan, Bali and New Zealand …all of which I paid for and not a dollar of her own money. Now she is back in her own country for 2 weeks and I receive this

Yeah sounds like she's on the take im afraid

In that case I’d be calling the engagement off.

Tell her she needn’t bother coming back! She’s a gold digger for sure…and not even subtle about it!

Oh dear. Why couldn’t she pay for some of the travel herself? I think you’ve been very generous and she wants more by the sounds of it.

She's a complete user. Does she work?

Yes she does…she’s a smart woman who has a great job…..

You’re being played.

I agree you're being played. I don't even know what she's on about in that message though but she's clearly complaining and if you've spent that much on her and she's unhappy about money then I'd send her on her way.

If shes such a taker now, imagine what a Bridezilla shes going to be.

How will you keep up the gift giving when you’re married and reality bites? She sounds spoilt and entitled. Let her go, let her go find all these dates shes on about.

Chuck her back.

basically she can't go on dates anymore because she's in a relationship with you, so she can't afford to eat 🤷

Get rid already. she sounds grabby, entitled and an utter nightmare

“She's telling you that her love language is people paying for stuff for her!”

This ☝️

I date someone who is incredibly generous but I would never, ever ask for - or expect - anything.

She's a prostitute with a massive Ego.

You're a punter.

She doesn't like you for yourself would be my interpretation.. depends if you're happy with a transactional relationship really.

Thanks everyone…I thought maybe I was being unfair and was looking at it from the wrong perspective but it looks like my gut feeling was correct with all your comments

Have you decided to end it?

This woman is a leech. and her messages sound very manipulative. out of respect for you she's turning down other invites, she's chosen you etc. Like she's doing you a massive favour by being in a relationship with you

She’s a gold digging freeloader only interested in fleecing you - what more do you need to know?

Dump her and wise up to spotting huge red flags - she’s hardly hidden exactly what she is has she?

Are you mad? She’s seen you coming. Why on earth would you throw money at someone like this?

She has excellent English and composition. She sounds grabby.

I'd suggest she bill you by the hour, it's more honest.

She sounds awful. You don't need someone like this in your life. There are a lot of decent women out there, recover anything you can and then go and find one.