Should I end this relationship

[WRLGPLem165]

Both in our early 50s into a relatively new relationship this year which has been lovely, both have our own homes, adult kids etc and I have really enjoyed spending time with him.

He talks lots about his future and is busy putting all his cards in place so he can retire asap, finishing paying his mortgage etc. It’s a topic he brings up regularly and I’m a bit bored by it.

I’m lucky to say I love what I do. He runs his own company and question if he has had enough of doing what he does. I don’t feel old enough to consider retirement and want to do all the things that normal couples do when in a new relationship and not discuss retiring.

Am I being selfish in deciding to end this relationship as the topic is draining or should I start to consider his views on retirement

Just because he's retiring doesn't mean you have to...? Or is he putting pressure on you to do the same?

You say you've really enjoyed spending time with him, but are bored with his talk of retirement. Does he know it's not for you?

You live separately, I don't really understand the problem!

Just say you’re not in that mind set yet?

I think what you’re saying is that he bores you, basically, right? That’s a perfectly good reason to finish the relationship. You don’t sound compatible, which is ok and nobody’s fault, but the sooner you move on, the better. 🙂

You don't sound that into him. The retirement thing would not be an issue if you were keener. Find someone else or enjoy single life

I had a friend like this. Her DH had retired and as time went on she also wanted to retire. Every single time we met up for coffee it was all about retirement - how and when she could retire in the next 12 months. Then the countdown was on.

I was happy for her but it felt incongruent with where I was. Early 50s, DCs leaving home soon and me being able to pick up the pace in my career.

What I'm saying is that as time goes on the gap will likely widen. You're just not in the same phase of life, regardless of how well you get along.

You’re at different life stages and so not really compatible.
Im similar age and I wouldn’t date someone retiring soon.

Oh boy.
This sounds familiar. Right before covid I was trying OLD again and I was struck by how many guys my age at the time mid-50ies sounded so burnt-out; fed up with their job and waiting to stop working in order to spend their days... doing nothing. I mean, if it was to start afresh to renovate a house, learn how to paint or sculpture, sail around the world, etc... it would be positive. But now, it was more like they were simply tired and had no energy left.

Sigh.
Is this the testosterone drop after 50?
I found talking to such men depressing. It's like they are almost dead and could crawl in their coffin right away.
And don't get me started about those who discuss their physical ailments during a first date.
As a matter of fact, in the mean time I myself retired from my job but that's not to do nothing, I have actually never been busier than now, but this time with my own projects.
It would not bother me at all if my partner would still be working. Wouldn't bother me either if he is retired but I would expect him to be active.
Be careful, this guy is the type who would be retired and wants to stay home all the time. Plenty of older women have to do stuff by themselves because their partner simply does not want to leave the house any longer. Then you can as well be single I think.