what would you do in this situation?!

[ralsta]

I need an outsider perspective on this - someone who’s not emotionally invested

to summarise, my ex was an awful partner. drinker, weed smoker, porn addict, sex pest etc

split in jan after finding out he’d been contacting hookers

he then was fine, a decent dad. showed up for the kids etc. then something changed and i just knew he’d started seeing someone. he denied all knowledge, called me mad for even thinking it etc

fast forward they’re not boyfriend and girlfriend i found out from a naked selfie on instagram as he ‘couldn’t find the right time’ to tell me

ANYWAY - it’s his weekend this weekend to have them and he told me a while back he couldn’t see them cos he had to go to scotland to work. WELL i knew he was lying, turns out he’s gone away with her. so he’s chosen a weekend away with her, over seeing his kids. he sees them once a week for context

what would you do?!

confront? ignore? leave him to carry on his sad little life?

It doesn’t matter what he does with who, that’s none of your business, as long as it doesn’t affect the kids. It’s up to you if you are happy to swap weekends etc, but if he wants to be awkward he just won’t turn up when expected anyway.
Just make sure you are there for your kids.
I look back at my childhood and always thought dad was amazing, bbut as an adult I see that it was actually mum who was amazing because she didn’t leave me.

Put some distance between yourself and him. Keep communication to the minimum needed to facilitate co-parenting. Do not waste the energy of anger on someone who lies and lies. Leopards do not change their spots so it will probably not last with the new lady once the honeymoon period is over. You know from direct experience that he is no bargain. If he continues to be flaky about child contact arrangements then it is time to ask for a formal arrangement through the courts.

I would keep any communication with him about arrangements for the children. What he does in his private life is none of your business. Him letting down the children is - if he continues then I would go to court to formalise shares custody arrangements.