Lost Everything

[ExcitementAhead101]

Hello,
I with my was partner now are due to be having a child early part of next year. I run my own business of 30 plus employees, have my own house and still am under the age of 30.
Unfortunately, 6 months ago I hit a downward spiral and never spoke to anyone, constantly turning up to work late, letting my partner and her child down, not being there for anyone and turning to the devils choice of alcohol and drugs. My partner and I split over this and I reassured her I would get the help needed if she gave me another chance. Fast forward 4 months we split after finding out she was pregnant. I understand why she would, why would you want someone like me around you and your family and our child? It’s like any lioness sticking up for her pride.
In the end, I went and got mental health help which has really made me turn a corner, but her mind has been made up because of how I was. Is there anything I could do to show her I am not who I was and have come out the other side as a better person or is it something of me just letting going and then moving on?
I really don’t want to lose it all because this woman is the love of my life, but I was just wondering on what your opinions were on it all.
Thank you for your time reading.

Show her you have changed, don't just tell her. Be a helpful and supportive partner. Don't let her down.

The only thing you can do at this point is just consistently be there, be reliable. No last-minute cancellations or broken promises. That's the only way she might come around. But honestly.. if the trust is gone, it is very hard to get it back.

Thank you, I understand the trust is going to be hard to get back after the white lies etc, but before I went into the state I was in, it wasn’t me at all, hence planning for a child.

I understand time is of the healer and she will have a guard up but what other options are there?

if you haven’t tenacity and determination to show her you have changed. It’s deeds not words. I always say to my daughter that her dad often says stupid things but he is a doer. She sees it. Words are cheap, actions are not. And that’s not grand gestures, it’s showing that you make no excuses for your behaviour, that you own it, that you have taken steps to ensure it’s never going to happen again. Show with time, thought and consideration about how challenging pregnancy can be by pre empting some of those challenges with solutions. Don’t wait for her to ask you to do something, look yourself at what they might need and do it.

after all that if she still doesn’t want you. Respect her wishes, be a good parent, co parent without malice. Sometimes you need to let go when you love someone.

It literally is time and consistency.
There's no quick fix am afraid, trust has to be earned and with some people, could take years.. You just keep showing her that you are there, you're reliable and kind she will see it with her own eyes and will hopefully learn to trust you again. Please, even though you think she is the love of your life, respect her choice and don't overstep. If she has feelings for you, they will become apparent in good time but accept the fact she may never feel the same way again. You will though, hopefully, have a relationship with your child and a friendship with the child's mum. This is nothing to be sniffed at.

Wish you well and well done too for getting help, not easy and sounds like doing really well now, kudos.

Unfortunately you cant force someone to trust you, and after 2 goes at it where she has felt she has to split with you, its not looking good.

As others have said, all you can do is be reliable and supportive, while not putting pressure on her at all. If you are having a child, you should be doing that anyway.