I’ve been dating a girl for 2 and a half months. She’s 36 I’m 29.
Everything about our dynamic is great. She treats me so well. She’s kind and caring. We have fun. Sex is great. She’s good at dealing with me and my anxious thoughts.
But because of her age. I feel like kids could be a problem. I feel a shit tonne of pressure because I want them and if she does too then that gives us like a year or 2 to start trying. Which isn’t very long.
She’s not pressuring me at all. She’s very go with the flow and says she wants to get to know me better before any big decision. But I can only really see 3 options. 1. We split soon. 2. We keep dating and get further down the line, I don’t feel I’ll be ready for kids in 2 years, I leave. 3. I’m ready for kids in 2 years and we do it.
when I asked about kids she said she’s got 2 options in her head. 1. Never have them and be at peace with it because she didn’t meet the right person. 2. Meet the right person and see what options there are down the line.
That’s a lot of pressure for a 3 month ish relationship. If she was my age I’d keep dating her and enjoying our time. But she isn’t. And it’s making me feel really anxious?
But like… what about kids?
I asked her last night if she was happy with the way things are going. She said yes. Then I said I am at the moment too. When she asked why just the moment I said because I still don’t really know what she wants long term. Which worries me. Her response was: ‘Fair and fair explanation of the at the moment - so thank you (and thank you for encouraging me to ask and not feel goofy). I think yes for us a bit early to tell but all of the feelings I’ve shared with you have been completely honest so you can just know that re: all of the mush I spew at you.’
I don’t know what to do. I don’t really want this to end. It’s really nice in the present. But I don’t know if it’ll work. Sometimes I feel like maybe someone my own age would be better and more relatable. But also I really do like this girl and don’t want to hurt her too