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Original poster

What to do about d*ick pics from previous partner

21 replies

Letthem01 · 27/09/2025 09:48

Hi all - would like some advice....
.... this is a long story so will just keep to the main points - was in a relationship with a 'mature' man - he ended it but after a few months when we started to message one another, he started to send me d*ick pics. Must have had around 20 to 30. His behaviour has always been erratic, would send these after he had been drinking.
Spoke to gf before me and she had had some too!!!
Sending unsolicited pics is a crime, but apparently difficult to get a case past the CPS for all sorts of reasons.
Has anyone had experience of reporting these and had any success?
Police have offered to go and talk to him which would obvs be logged for future reference, if needed.
Clearly he can join the dots so unless others have had them, then it's not hard to work out who had reported it.
Any thoughts?? TIA.

OP posts:
Hurumphh · 27/09/2025 09:50

The talk from the police would also need to include a very firm warning about what action he’d be facing if he contacts you again about this. Have the police been able to give you any assurances on that front? If not, I’d press them to before agreeing for them to go and talk to him.

FirstCuppa · 27/09/2025 09:53

Honestly if he sent them to you and a friend he will have been sending them all over the place. He won't have a clue who reported him and that's the point; he is a flasher and has no regard for any harm he inflicts. He needs that explaining to him so he doesn't escalate into worse.

Reachedtheend · 27/09/2025 09:54

Are you worried he will react violently if he suspects it's you who has reported him?
Actually if he sends these to you and you know he has sent them to a previous gf then it is probably normal behaviour for him and there could be numerous women he sends them to. In which case you would be only one of many he suspects of shopping him.
Personally unless your personal safety is at risk I would ask the police to talk to him.

FirstCuppa · 27/09/2025 09:56

As an aside - sorry you've had 20-30 pics of a strangled worm. They are never pleasant and they aren't meant to be sexy but weirdly intimidating. If you are really worried get a doorbell camera and change up your routine a bit.

Screamingabdabz · 27/09/2025 09:57

ANY male sending me pictures of their ugly fucking genitalia would get reported to the police without hesitation. I think younger women are so used to, and worn down, by this type of male bullshit that they don’t realise how outrageous and manipulative it is. Police. Absolutely 100%. Fuck the consequences - he’s a disgusting entitled old fashioned misogynist perv and needs putting in his place.

Original poster
Letthem01 · 27/09/2025 11:48

So Police have said that the conversation with him would be recorded (Body Cam) and I guess logged on the National system. If he's reported again, I guess they have a case for taking further action. Apparently this is very common - lots of it goes on. By the sounds of it not much goes further than the CPS.

No names would be mentioned. We live in the same town so it's kinda awkward. He was incredibly mean to me in other ways so although I am not a vindictive person, I do want him to face a consequence to his actions. Yes, I had figured that there's probably lots that has gone on/is going on that I don't know about.

God knows why men do this!!! He certainly has a 'dark personality'...

OP posts:
Lifejigsaw · 27/09/2025 12:19

How did he react when you told him to stop? I hope you have blocked him now. Why do men thing this is sexy and the fact that he has continued despite knowing they are unwanted is awful

FirstCuppa · 27/09/2025 12:29

It's a form of power play, whether they realise it or not. They squeeze the life out of it usually to make it look gross and veiny so it is bigger and "intimidating".
So glad I'm out of the dating scene. The amount of random men's d*cs my phone has seen tells me that the entitlement is simply ingrained in most men. YOU MUST SEE THIS. LOOK AT IT. It's not about finding it sexy.

WLnamechange · 27/09/2025 12:57

Just report it and let them go and speak with him ?
You're showing him its not acceptable and needs to stop. Or just block him.

Original poster
Letthem01 · 27/09/2025 13:22

FirstCuppa · 27/09/2025 12:29

It's a form of power play, whether they realise it or not. They squeeze the life out of it usually to make it look gross and veiny so it is bigger and "intimidating".
So glad I'm out of the dating scene. The amount of random men's d*cs my phone has seen tells me that the entitlement is simply ingrained in most men. YOU MUST SEE THIS. LOOK AT IT. It's not about finding it sexy.

yes I get that it's not sexy - this is my first experience of d*ck pics and because I wanted the relationship to get back to where it was I didn't deal with it at the time.... but he's just been such a shit to me - betrayal - lies, all the while putting on a facade of being loving and kind etc. A really horrible and hurtful experience I wish I hadn't met him :-( :-(

OP posts:
Suednymph · 27/09/2025 14:20

You allowed it at the time, personally I would delete, block and move on. You should have told him no at the start to eb honest and it will waste time and resources now complaining to police about it.

iamnotalemon · 27/09/2025 14:30

Suednymph · 27/09/2025 14:20

You allowed it at the time, personally I would delete, block and move on. You should have told him no at the start to eb honest and it will waste time and resources now complaining to police about it.

Men shouldn’t be sending them in the first place. Why is it always up to the woman to tell them no?

Suednymph · 27/09/2025 14:42

@iamnotalemon it isnt and tthey shouldnt but she is only now wanting to do something as she is being bitter about it. It will do nothing but waste resources. We all make mistakes and hers was not telling him at the start it was unacceptable but she allowed it to continue because she was stil trying to reel him in for whatever purpose. In this instance and I am only talking about the one post about it, she needs to leave it and move on.

FuzzyWolf · 27/09/2025 14:51

Surely you have made it clear already that the messages are offensive. I would have then blocked him and if he got hold of my new number, reported immediately to the police and continued to block and report as needed.

Your OP gives the impression that you continued to happily message him, which he could argue as implied consent, and now, some time later, you have decided to retaliate and get him prosecuted. If so, that’s why prosecution rates are so low.

Original poster
Letthem01 · 27/09/2025 14:58

FuzzyWolf · 27/09/2025 14:51

Surely you have made it clear already that the messages are offensive. I would have then blocked him and if he got hold of my new number, reported immediately to the police and continued to block and report as needed.

Your OP gives the impression that you continued to happily message him, which he could argue as implied consent, and now, some time later, you have decided to retaliate and get him prosecuted. If so, that’s why prosecution rates are so low.

??? Ummmm where does it say I want him prosecuted?!!!

Context is important. Men's abusive behaviour towards women is NOT OK!

He also trafficked a woman into the UK from a war zone for sex but apparently that's OK because they met on a dating site and that implies consent??!!! Jesus.

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 27/09/2025 15:00

I am glad you have gone to the Police. A pity others who received photos did not do the same as well.

FuzzyWolf · 27/09/2025 15:00

Letthem01 · 27/09/2025 14:58

??? Ummmm where does it say I want him prosecuted?!!!

Context is important. Men's abusive behaviour towards women is NOT OK!

He also trafficked a woman into the UK from a war zone for sex but apparently that's OK because they met on a dating site and that implies consent??!!! Jesus.

Show quote history

Sending unsolicited pics is a crime, but apparently difficult to get a case past the CPS for all sorts of reasons.
Has anyone had experience of reporting these and had any success?

Why are you asking about getting a case past the CPS and success then? The CPS is by definition (and the clue is in their name) prosecuting someone.

youalright · 27/09/2025 15:03

🤢 why do men think we like this just block him and carry on with your life.

Original poster
Letthem01 · 27/09/2025 15:15

FuzzyWolf · 27/09/2025 15:00

Sending unsolicited pics is a crime, but apparently difficult to get a case past the CPS for all sorts of reasons.
Has anyone had experience of reporting these and had any success?

Why are you asking about getting a case past the CPS and success then? The CPS is by definition (and the clue is in their name) prosecuting someone.

Show quote history

I am pleased to clear this up for you: I am simply interested in the experiences of others. The Police decide which cases go to the CPS not the victim!!

OP posts:
Neemie · 27/09/2025 15:20

Suednymph · 27/09/2025 14:42

@iamnotalemon it isnt and tthey shouldnt but she is only now wanting to do something as she is being bitter about it. It will do nothing but waste resources. We all make mistakes and hers was not telling him at the start it was unacceptable but she allowed it to continue because she was stil trying to reel him in for whatever purpose. In this instance and I am only talking about the one post about it, she needs to leave it and move on.

Do any women actually want to receive a dick pic? That is a genuine question as I thought sending them was generally considered to be deviant behaviour. The only man who sent me a pornographic picture went on to sexually assault me, so maybe I’m biased.

FuzzyWolf · 27/09/2025 15:20

Letthem01 · 27/09/2025 15:15

I am pleased to clear this up for you: I am simply interested in the experiences of others. The Police decide which cases go to the CPS not the victim!!

Show quote history

You know the experiences of others due to the low prosecution rates.

The overwhelming majority of people immediately block the instigator and don’t get to a stage where the pics becomes plural.

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