So, I don’t want to go into the painful details, but a little over a year ago, my wife came and told me she had been having an affair for the past 2 years with a friend. This destroyed me.
We have been together 20 years and have 2 young girls together, and worst of all, I love her and my family very very much.
We are currently still together, and she says she's stopped seeing the guy and says she just wants to forget the whole thing and for us to stay together. I guess that’s about as much as I can ask for but, she no longer wants to be with me intimately (or anyone else she says). She has no problem touching or kissing, but nothing that is in anyway sexual. I guess I should just get over myself, but I find her very attractive and really want to be with her sexually. I have always loved her from the moment we met and ever since. Like all marriages, we have had our ups and downs, but since she met him around 6 years ago, it’s been a lot worse between us. We even had an argument where I told her to stop meeting up with him as I didn’t like it (they would meet at the park with his and our kids so they kids could play together), but she told me that nothing was going on and she would never do that (and she really isn’t the type to do something like this or at least that’s what I thought), but they kept meeting up and I let it go as I thought nothing would happen and if he made a move, she would knock him back (how wrong was I!).
Anyway, my point is, it’s been a year, and I don’t know if I should let her go as in my mind, she can’t really love me anymore and its really really hard to be near her and love her so much that I can forgive her everything but know that she doesn’t want me in that way.
And if I do ask her to leave, I lose my kids as well as her as I don’t think I can face seeing her if we split especially if she meets someone else. I myself am done with women. I’m in my mid 50s (she’s in her mid-40s) and after this I just don’t trust women sadly. To me she is the most perfect person in the world, and if she can’t be faithful to me, that who can.
So, to the point of this post, should I wait it out in the hope she will get over what she’s done and realise that I really am the best choice and that she want to be completely with me as before, or do I let her go and try to move on, not for me, but because it’s the best thing for her to find happiness with someone else? Is she just still here for the kids and because she doesn’t want people to know what she has done (we haven’t told anyone)?