Are other people's relationship like this?

[MamaFifi05]

Hello All, I've been with my husband for 12 years, married for half that time. Our relationship hasn't ever been wildly passionate but we did used to be affectionate towards each other. In the last few years, and especially since having our children, it's become quite a functional, team work style set up (appreciate this is normal with small children) but I'm also feeling like my husband is generally quite disinterested in me and my emotional wellbeing. I'm suffering from a bit of postpartum anxiety and just feel so bloody lonely sometimes. He's the only person I really feel comfortable talking to about it, but I don't even feel like he offers a hug when I try to open up. Do other people feel like this? I don't have a close family relationship, or many close friends living nearby to talk about it so keen to hear other people's experiences. Thanks!

Sadly, I feel very much like this. I don’t know what the answer is though. I hate the thought of breaking up the kids’ happy lives and sellling our family home. But I also hate the idea of wasting my one life in a dull, functional relationship. So following to see if anyone has any actual advice!

Either divorce or consider if he'd go to relationship counselling. Build other friendships and have other people to support you when he doesn't.

Doesn't have to be this miserable though

It's easy to slip into these roles when you're children are small and their needs take priority. You're both busy and tired and making time for each other can feel like a chore that you just don't have the energy for!

Talk to your partner, tell him that you feel you've drifted apart a bit and want to connect more with him. Try and carve out a bit of time when the kids are in bed to cuddle up on the sofa, have a glass of wine and a takeaway and watch something funny or romantic together. Or get a babysitter and go out together - chat about good times that you've had and make plans for more. Marriages go through ups and downs and sometimes you have to make more effort to remind each other why you got together in the first place. Tell him the things you love about him and are grateful for. Ask him to do the same.