Don't feel truly loved

[Newforestwoman]

My partner is quite egocentric. It's all about him. He loves to be centre of attention.
He is extremely generous and often affectionate and makes me a cup of tea most mornings. However I don't feel loved in a true love / thick and thin kind of way. I had a car crash and he came to help immediately but that's the only major thing he's done.
My sexual fulfillment and needs don't matter. He puts himself first. He never apologises. He goes crazy if i dont listen intently to his stories about his day. He wants me so long as im a friendly attractive girlfriend who is doing housework etc. But if I was ill eg in a wheelchair I just know he'd be off.
Is thus normal? AiBU to expect more? .
Have I seen too many romantic films, I honestly cant really say that I feel he'd be there for me.

It is not normal. Someone who loves you will put you first in nearly everything.. Several red flags here. Its time to leave. Put yourself first and don't look back. Hope your OK and have somewhere you can go.

What exactly do you get out of this relationship OP?
It sounds as though you are just a support act to the star of the show.
Of course you deserve more.

You don't feel truly loved, because you're not.

It is possible to be truly loved in a relationship, OP. Even I managed it eventually! 🤣

Get yourself out there and keep looking...

Trust your gut OP. If you know in your heart he doesn’t love you in the true sense of the word (it sounds like he only has room to love himself) then leave.

You're an NPC in his game of 'life' I'm afraid.

You're supposed to support/accommodate/enable the main character, but not to have any 'real' thoughts/emotions/needs/desires etc because NPC's aren't meant to act as if they are 'real' people.

You'll never feel 'loved' by someone who doesn't see you as a 'real' person.

It’s not normal - people have various stresses and strains at various times but if everything is always about him then it will continue to be even when you need it to be otherwise.

Did you know that statistically men are 6 times more likely to leave their spouse if she falls ill or gets a disability than vice versa?

Yes, a lot of women know exactly what you mean. Men don't tend to love in the same way as women do.
Men love a woman for what she can do for him, how she can contribute to his life. Comparable to the way a lion really loves the zebra he's about to eat.
Women tend to love in a nurturing way. We love it when our presence makes someone elses life better in some way.

This is also why such a large amount of women are choosing to stay single over being in a relationship.

So yes, it's common. No, you shouldn't settle for it. You deserve better.

You need some self respect, first and foremost. He has no respect for you and that’s very sad.

Look up the Freedom Programme, do it and start looking at being happy to live on your own. You deserve better than you are getting. Living on your own and lead who you are would be a very good start.

I had a car crash and he came to help immediately but that's the only major thing he's done

Isn't it quite revealing that you define this as something exceptional, whereas for a healthy relationship, this would be absolutely essential stuff! Of course he should have helped you immediately!

Ask yourself, how loved do you feel for the person that you are, your full personality, vs how much you're used / liked for the services you provide - be it comfort, sex, occasional entertainment.

@Girlmom35 God how depressing if that's true. 6 times more likely??