Hello everyone, I’ve been meaning to post this for months but just haven’t had the confidence to. All I ask is that if you can’t be kind or constructive please don’t reply as I’m really struggling at the moment and not sure it would be beneficial for me. I’ve been in my current relationship for 4 years. We had a baby in January and that’s when it all started to go down hill. As soon as our baby was born he became really controlling both financially and emotionally. I won’t go into mass detail as I’d be here all day, but a couple of examples of what he does include me having to explain what I have spent my money on, not being allowed out with friends without my daughter or I’m accused of “wasting his money” but he literally does what he wants. Last year he was renovating his house and long story short he ran out of money. We were living at my house with a plan to move into his before the baby was born. He couldn’t get a loan because of an old CCJ for a parking fine he never got round to contesting. I offered to get the loan for him and he just makes the payments every month which he has always done to be fair to him and he’s never argued it. Lately he’s been so horrible to me and things have been so bad that I think he sensed I wanted to leave and he made it clear that if I went then he’d stop paying the loan and just make life really difficult for me in general. I still have my house that I rent out so could move back there but I literally have no money. SMP doesn’t even cover my mortgage and council tax let alone anything else. I can’t get funded nursery hours until my daughter is nearly 1 due to how the threshold falls, so I can’t go back to work just yet. He constantly drags me down about my appearance and he’s also humiliated me a couple of times in public, to the point where I asked him if he even liked me as a person! He said I was being stupid but he honestly comes across that way. I understand the type of person he is and it isn’t behaviour I’m going to stand for and allow my daughter to witness. I’m pretty much a single mum anyway because he does absolutely nothing and hasn’t since day 1. Obviously if all this behaviour was apparent before the baby was born then I would have walked away, but he was very clever clearly and now he knows I’m trapped, so treats me how he wants.
Is there anywhere I can call to get financial advice or has anyone been in a similar situation that got help? I really don’t know what to do and I feel so trapped everyday. I look at him and feel so much anger and hate at how he’s treated me and our daughter.