Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this a lack of commitment?

12 replies

BeKhakiUser · 26/09/2025 15:05

I’m 29 and my boyfriend is 31. We’ve been together for almost a year and live together. I’ve met his sister, who lives in the UK, but not his brother or dad, who live in Dubai. He’s English but moved out there when he was younger.
His mum sadly passed away five years ago. He’s said it’s “not the same there anymore” and "who would you be meeting exactly!?" and that his dad and brother aren’t really the type to organise a lunch to meet me or anything. He doesn’t spend much time there, just the odd work trip.

At the moment, he’s been in Dubai for over a month because some work documents are being processed. He’s mainly working, but has spent a bit of time with his niece and nephew. He was meant to be there for a week only and it's very stressful for him -- we think every week it's going to be processed so we didn't know it would be this long.

We’ve talked about getting married next year and I asked him outright if we’re going to get engaged next year. He said yes, but we didn’t go into details about timing or plans, and I don’t think we should just yet.

What’s worrying me is that he hasn’t introduced me to his dad or brother.

I’m wondering if this is a lack of commitment, or if I’m overthinking.

OP posts:
reasonswhyy · 26/09/2025 15:07

Do you want to be introduced virtually?
have you asked for an introduction?

BeKhakiUser · 26/09/2025 15:12

reasonswhyy · 26/09/2025 15:07

Do you want to be introduced virtually?
have you asked for an introduction?

I don't think he has a relationship like that with his dad -- from what he has told me it would be awkward.

Secondly, his brother is busy with his kids and wife, he said they're not really too bothered about him or his life

OP posts:
Plastictreees · 26/09/2025 15:12

Already living together when you haven’t even been together for a year, and discussing getting married next year, seems pretty committed (and fast) to me.

Do his family ever come to the UK? Can you suggest meeting them online in the interim?

Just seen your update: He is obviously not close with his family so I’m not sure what your problem is here.

Largestlegocollectionever · 26/09/2025 15:13

If he’s staying in the same house as them whilst he’s over then yeah maybe an online virtual saying hi, but it sounds like his bro and dad aren’t too interested and so I’d just leave it.

Largestlegocollectionever · 26/09/2025 15:14

BeKhakiUser · 26/09/2025 15:12

I don't think he has a relationship like that with his dad -- from what he has told me it would be awkward.

Secondly, his brother is busy with his kids and wife, he said they're not really too bothered about him or his life

So why are you viewing this as a lack of commitment on his behalf when you clearly know it’s more to do with his dads and brothers personality?

BeKhakiUser · 26/09/2025 15:15

Largestlegocollectionever · 26/09/2025 15:13

If he’s staying in the same house as them whilst he’s over then yeah maybe an online virtual saying hi, but it sounds like his bro and dad aren’t too interested and so I’d just leave it.

He is staying in the same house but I think his dad would definitely say hey - he told him that if he's serious about me then he's happy to meet me -- but I think my boyfriend feels awkward at this prospect and isn't really close in terms of emotion with his dad.

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 26/09/2025 15:16

It’s all quite early days still.

BeKhakiUser · 26/09/2025 15:16

Largestlegocollectionever · 26/09/2025 15:14

So why are you viewing this as a lack of commitment on his behalf when you clearly know it’s more to do with his dads and brothers personality?

because he stays with his dad when he's there and he does see his brother but they're definitely not emotional with one another. I just thought it's something he would want to do...

OP posts:
ClickClickety · 26/09/2025 17:22

Could you go there for a holiday to meet him?

keyser · 26/09/2025 17:51

Living together within a year is even complete and already arranging to get married? I wish you luck with life lessons but WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F .

Honeymoon phase is cute, please never rush just because something feels right. Marriage is not just a cute thing to do, it has life changing consequences when you realise it was only done because of the love bombing and honeymoon phase.

Lmnop22 · 26/09/2025 18:04

I would be worried if he hadn’t introduced you to people who are important to him and he was close to. But I wouldn’t be worried in your case with the dad and brother because it sounds like he isn’t that close to them and they’re not particularly important parts of his day to day life. Just because they’re family doesn’t necessarily mean they are close.

I think it’s important to meet them at some point and certainly before any engagement but not to have met them within a year isn’t a red flag, especially since they live thousands of miles away. Maybe just both fly out to Dubai at some point for a holiday and invite them out for dinner one day - no need to stay with them and just keep it chilled.

TheSuperfluousWoman · 26/09/2025 18:08

Are you sure he does not have a wife in Dubai? I find this story of doing paperwork over there that just does not get finished rather fishy...

New posts on this thread. Refresh page