To feel just fed up at OH

[Jellyworms]

little bit of background- together 7 years, two small children 4yo and 1yo.
so today is my 30th birthday, for my OH’s birthday we had a lovely dinner out, gifts cake etc. i woke up this morning to a card (i love a card!) so no probs there, however i just feel a bit deflated. My OH has made no effort with me at all, i went for a head and body massage booked by my mum as a present. Came home to a messy house, washing up piled in the sink and OH asleep on the sofa. Clearly woke him coming in and hes done nothing but mope around and laze on the sofa all day, short and snappy with me and kids as we clearly disturbed his “much needed rest”

i asked whats for dinner as i didnt really want to cook hoping we would get a takeaway and got snapped at “i dont have money for a takeaway tonight”
i cooked dinner, put both children to bed and took myself off to bed as i just feel ao deflated by him and his genuine selfishness. Not even a card from the kids or a drawing nothing :( i have been more and more unhappy lately and seriously wanting to leave but jusy have no idea financhially how i would cope as im a SAHM :( do i really want to go into my 30’s with a man who cant even make my birthday special

You’d likely manage just fine as a single parent because you seem already to be doing it all now. Do not let this fun sponge of a man continue to be your so called partner.

When if ever do you get to have a much needed rest?. He’s no decent role model to your kids either because it looks like you’re all supposed to tiptoe around him and his moods.

What is the situation re the finances and property?.

First of all, happy birthday @Jellyworms ! Hope you find some fun time with family or girlfriends during your birthday week. I am so sorry for you - I would be miserable about this too. Just a card on your 30th? And, snappy grumpy man and washing up to do? I would be really really upset!

Can you have a chat with him, and tell him that this was just really crap of him? And, in future, if you don't take the LTB option which I'm sure will be suggested in this thread by many (justifiably), just make your own fun plans for the day and don't rely on him to show you he cares (coz he clearly isn't up the task).

Happy 30th Birthday!!! What a twat your partner is! You may as well be a single parent

That’s really not normal

Happy birthday @Jellyworms

I’d be bloody furious OP and making it fully known known to him. You deserve better. Happy 30th birthday to you 🥳

go back to work. Have choices.

Happy 30th🎂

What a selfish uncaring prick. Of course you're not unreasonable to expect better! If I were you, I'd be sorting out childcare, getting a job and getting out of the relationship. Are you married? Do you own or rent together?

Happy 30th op, get your ducks in a row, find a job and then leave, he has no respect or love for you by his actions.

Happy 30th birthday!!🥳

Happy birthday! Get a friend and go out for a nice day/evening and leave the miserable sod to deal with the kids . What an utter bellend he is

Happy 30th. What an absolute arse your DH is. A card only for your 30th and he can’t even get you a takes way? He could have at least cooked, but no, he just expects you to do it all as usual. He was probably in a mood as he had to look after his own kids whilst you had your massage. I’d start looking at getting back to work, and getting your ducks in a row.

Go back to work and chuck him out, he can't even be bothered on your birthday - sounds rubbish

Happy 30th birthday I am sorry he made no effort even if money was tight he could of made some effort handmade card and gifts from dc baked you a birthday cake with them and cooked you a nice dinner

I presume not married but unclear. Key is you’re saying unhappy for a long while. Depending on house ownership and job situations, you may think the grass could be greener

Sounds like you're not married so very vulnerable as a SAHM. Start looking for a job today and see if he steps up at home, if not then think about leaving

Why was he at home sleeping on the sofa on a working day? Doesn’t he work. Even if he didn’t have much money he could have made a nice meal and promised to take you out at a later date. What an absolute flop he is!

And yes we as a op said, don’t waiter about being a single parent, you will at least have one less person to look after!

Also, think about retraining and entering the workforce. Have a plan if you want to end it:

Just a card and no present at all? Nothing planned for you at all?
I'm so sorry lovely.
Kick him to the curb.

This is horrible OP, did you tell your mum?