Trauma bond

[Helpmebestrong]

Hi, I desperately need help to break a trauma bond after a very long but verbally abusive marriage.

My brain believes I cannot survive without him. He’s moved on and I’m left feeling like an addict. I cannot see how to pull myself out of this. I’ve tried neuro feedback, talking therapy, nervous system resets. I crave him still.

Can anyone advise how they survived and even better how they thrived without them. Also how long did this take?

Didn’t want to read and run. Can you make a fundamental change in your life OP, such as moving somewhere further away to change your vibe a bit? Also how long did you do the talking therapy for? It does take a bit of time to process

https://amzn.eu/d/4sDV44p

Thank you for the reply.
Unfortunately not. We share a child and moving isn’t an option.
I’ve been in talking therapy about 9 months but I also haven’t disclosed the full extent as I’m so ashamed so that won’t have helped.

Thank you. I’ll order that!

I'm no expert but have been in a similar situation. One day at a time. Just do the day. Small things will occur to you.

"I couldn't have bought/eaten/done this if he was here."

"My eyes/ears/nose/tummy isn't really weird."

He will have blown hot and cold. One minute, you're the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world, next minute, ugly, fat, stupid.

You've done the right thing already but it's going to take time. Financially, it might be difficult if he controlled the money but you couldn't stand it any more.

Something will give. All bullies are cowards. Stay strong. Easy for me to say, I know but hold the line.

Here lies part of your problem! You need to open up and be vulnerable, thats how therapy achieves the best results. Nothing to be embarrassed about, they are not there to judge but to help.

He's still controlling you by holding onto your shame.

It isn't your burden, the shame was never yours in the first place.

Pass on the unwelcome gift.