Am i being unreasonable?

[saveyourtears4]

So my partner of 11 years decided to take a job where he works away. I didn’t want him to do it but he talked me into it as we needed the money etc.

It’s been a year and I’m struggling. We have 2 young children and I work 22 hours a week with my own business to run.

I get no help from his family only my own on occasions.

I have a house to run, kids to take care of, school runs, a dog, whilst working and running my own business. I am exhausted.

what is starting to annoy me is that while he’s away he goes out at least one night a week drinking with his work pals, home on a weekend & I have no time do see my friends or do anything I want to do.

am I being unreasonable to think this is not okay because he doesn’t see the problem I have?

sorry to hear all that but why doesn’t he see the problem you have? Arrange some
weekends away. Get some bonudaries in place

Why can't you see your friends and do things when he is home at the weekends?

If he's getting time during the week then you should have priority on the evenings at the weekend.

thanks for the replies. I feel guilty doing anything on the weekends because I don’t see him during the week. Maybe it’s a me issue

If he's earning more money can you afford a babysitter?

Could you see it as his opportunity to spend time alone with the children as he doesn't get the chance to do that in the week?

He doesn't see the problem you have because to him you're r0unning a hotel where he stays at weekends.
You're not being unreasonable.

You've given it a year and it's not working. If it were me I'd talk the situation through with him and expect to put in place some stuff to make your life easier e.g. a cleaner, him taking another job nearer home so he can pull his weight domestically.0

I had this for 2 years and it drove a massive wedge between me and DH. I felt overwhelmed and unappreciated as I did everything Monday to Friday but also when he’d come home on a weekend he’d trot off to his garage spending hours fixing his bikes. So I was again left with the kids, when I brought it up I was told he is allowed to have hobbies, he was jealous that I got to spend all this time with the children and he hated working away but we needed the money.

resentment set in and we’ve never really recovered from it. He doesn’t work away anymore but his job isn’t local so I still do the lions share.

I think you need to speak to him and explain exactly how you are feeling. You are pretty much a single person - it’s hard work and he should appreciate that.

Have you told him how you feel? I’d be as blunt as you’ve been in your op. His response will tell you how much he values you and your relationship

Turn it around on him, how would he feel about this setup if it was you who was away during the week?

You are a single parent during the week.